Stress is, of course, part of most people’s lives. Some people experience it constantly, others rarely. No matter how often you experience it, the way you respond to it makes a big difference in your well-being.
You can respond to stress in one of two ways: by changing your situation or environment, or by changing how you deal with it. Recognizing that you are under stress can be the first indicator of the necessity for change.
All emotions, good or bad, are useful. Your emotions provide you with valuable information that you must use to decode and analyze before acting. Emotional intelligence gives you the tools to do that, particularly in regard to stress.
So what exactly is stress? Stress is a perfectly normal reaction to what are called "stressors." Different people have different stressors, but the most common include potential danger, a challenging situation, or discomforting internal thoughts. All produce the same symptoms, as evidenced when we have the familiar “fight-or-flight” response. As a matter of fact, the fight-or-flight response is nothing more than a stress response. It's our physical reaction in response to a perceived attack or threat to our survival.
This stress response causes the brain to produce hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine. Once these emotional hormones hit the bloodstream, you start feeling your emotions. You experience them in the form of physical sensations, such as sweaty palms, increased blood pressure and heartbeat, etc.
But, you don’t only experience stress as a physical sensation. It also affects the functioning of your brain, even though you're perhaps not aware of it. You might even say, “I can’t name that feeling, but I feel it in my gut."
When you become aware of these sensations, either because of a physical symptom or because of a “feeling in my gut,” before you do anything else, be conscious of the ABCs of stress resilience:
'A' Stands For Awareness
Emotional intelligence work can be exceptionally beneficial here. Even though you might not have been aware of it, you have probably been under stress for a while. You may even believe that what you’ve been experiencing is normal.
You can use emotional intelligence to detect the presence of physical, emotional and mental stress indicators. Look for things such as changes in your energy levels and sleeping patterns, mood and attitude changes, excessive worrying, loss of appetite or its opposite, etc. Be self-aware.
'B' Stands For Balance
If you find your current reality unbalanced, what can you do about it? Even if you think you're highly aware of your emotions, you must continually be on guard to prevent them from hijacking your brain and overcoming rational thought. For instance, when emotions are intense and unpleasant, you don’t need to push them away. Give yourself some time to name them and embody them.
Use your emotional intelligence to reframe the initial meaning that you gave to the stressor. Come up with a few alternative meanings that will disperse your initial uncomfortable emotion. This process of analysis will help you put things in context and achieve a better mind-body balance, which I call "self-balance." This is the way you would have been feeling without the presence of the current stressor. Focus on self-balance.
'C' Stands For Change
Once you are aware of the presence of stress, have identified the stressor, and know how you would like to feel without its presence, you can begin to come up with a unique plan for either changing your situation/environment or for changing your response. You are in charge of change, so be the change.
'S' Stands For Self
Take care of yourself. You are the one who controls the severity and duration of stress in your life, so take full responsibility for that. Stop blaming others, and start working on making stress-reducing changes. Engage in the following on a daily basis:
• Deep breathing
• Healthy eating
• Plenty of sleep
• Meditating (really)
• Physical exercise
• Openly communicating
• Asking for help
Emotional stress is often called “the silent killer” because of its uncommunicative and mysterious effects on stress-related illnesses, including heart disease and mental health. Chronic stress is also a major contributing factor to the six leading causes of death in the United States.
Let this article serve as a wake-up call for the dangers of stress in your life. But, as outlined in this article, let it also remind you there is something you can do about it.
Time to get to work.
