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Emotional Intelligence In Business And Leadership

Forbes New York Business Council
POST WRITTEN BY
Jeff Moss

In recent decades, the definition of leadership has been changing, and an emphasis on emotional intelligence has emerged. Emotional intelligence, or EQ, has become recognized for its correlation to success in work and personal life, to motivation and to overall well-being. In business, high-EQ people have become desirable to employers due to the various advantages they enjoy.

Some of the most successful and influential people in history have had high emotional intelligence, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill and Warren Buffett.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to recognize, understand and manage their feelings and emotions, as well as those of others. According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence has the following five components:

1. Self-Awareness: Recognizing and understanding your own strengths and weaknesses, your emotions and moods, and the effects these things have on other people. A self-aware person is not easily offended by criticism, but rather learns and adapts.

2. Self-Regulation: To think before doing and to express your feelings maturely with restraint. Rather than being controlled by emotions and impulses, an emotionally intelligent person can control impulses and emotional responses.

3. Internal Motivation: High EQ people are self-motivated, pursuing personal goals for reasons of self-development and self-gratification, rather than money, titles, external praise or esteem. This could mean getting into humanitarian work because of a true passion, rather than seeking out the highest paying job.

4. Empathy

Empathy involves recognizing, understanding and feeling the emotions of others. Unlike sympathy, empathy involves actually sharing the emotional experience another person is having. When a friend loses a family member, sympathy is flowers and a hug — empathy is shedding tears alongside that friend and not by choice, but due to actually feeling their emotions. Empathetic people genuinely understand and respond to the needs of others.

Robert F. Kennedy is one example of a highly empathetic leader, whom, upon being exposed to the suffering of African Americans, was so moved that he shifted his political priorities to address their needs.

5. People Skills

Emotionally intelligent people easily build trust and respect with others. They are good at managing relationships and building networks, and they avoid power struggles and deceitfulness. Their high levels of the first four components of EQ make for deep bonds and genuine, non-competitive friendships.

Why is emotional intelligence important in business?

In a study that involved over 2,600 hiring managers, 71% said they value high EQ over high IQ. 

When asked why, they cited the following reasons:

• High EQ employees are better at staying calm under pressure.

• They listen as often or more often than they speak.

• They lead by example.

• They make more thoughtful business decisions.

• They take criticism well and admit their mistakes and learn from them.

• They keep their emotions in check and can discuss tough, sensitive issues thoughtfully and maturely.

• They are able to effectively resolve conflict.

• They are empathetic to coworkers and react accordingly.

In my consulting work, I saw one startup fail because the founders did not listen to each other and couldn’t compromise in the face of difference. I sat in on founders’ meetings and watched a lack of self-regulation and empathy lead to doors slamming. I have attempted to mediate such meetings and found success only when participants were willing to practice demonstrating the behaviors that comprise the components of emotional intelligence.

How To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Luckily for humanity, there are ways to increase emotional intelligence through practice. Here are some of them!

• Pause before speaking, acting or responding. This allows for initial impulses to fade, and for undistorted reflection and reasoning to occur.

Listen to others. Listening allows us to better understand the needs and emotions of others. Listening takes the focus off one’s own needs and shifts it to those of everyone, enabling better solutions that benefit more people.

• Attempt to control your thoughts. We cannot control what happens to us, or the emotions we feel in a moment, but we can control how we respond to them if we practice directing our thoughts. Rather than blaming oneself or another person when something negative occurs, consider alternative explanations. Maybe the circumstances leading to such an event resulted from many combined factors, the product of which was beyond any one person’s control.

• Praise others. Praising others on a habitual basis trains your brain to focus on the good in others, which encourages empathy and allows for a deeper understanding of people’s needs and motivations. Praise also sets the stage for thoughtful discussions on tough issues, as it decreases defensiveness and encourages openness to opposing thoughts.

• Reflect on criticism and search for ways to grow from it. Criticism can sometimes be hurtful, but it can always be helpful, as it exposes us to true outside perspectives. In the face of criticism, ask yourself: How can I improve and grow from this?

• Pay attention to body language. Much of communication is non-verbal. If you only listen with your ears, you could be missing out on how a person really feels, and even efforts to help them will thus be misinformed.

• Apologize. Intentions get misunderstood and feelings get hurt regularly. Apologizing shows compassion and encourages us to better understand one another while building trust and respect.

• Try to see from another person’s point of view. When in disagreement, consider the needs, motivations and emotions that may be shaping another’s priorities and opinions. Ask the reasons behind their thoughts and try to genuinely understand them. Maybe then, common ground will be found.

Communicate your feelings. When you are offended or upset, communicate to the offending party in a calm, non-threatening way so everyone can gain a mutual understanding and avoid future problems.

In business and leadership, it is clear why emotional intelligence is so important. In the increasingly diverse world we live in, EQ is a necessary tool for providing social and economic solutions to people of vastly different circumstances and needs.

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