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What Does An Emotionally Intelligent Leader Look Like?

Forbes Coaches Council
POST WRITTEN BY
Cari Coats

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Emotional intelligence is often one of the greatest predictors of leadership success, especially at the executive level. It can be a differentiator for leaders on the rise. Research confirms that emotional intelligence and leadership accomplishment at the highest levels are highly correlated. Not everyone is born with it, but you can improve your emotional intelligence with practice. If you’re going to practice something new, the visualization of that behavior certainly helps.

So what exactly does an emotionally intelligent leader look like? In my experience, leaders with high emotional intelligence often display four key attributes that you can easily spot in your day-to-day interactions:

1. They know themselves well. Self-awareness is foundational to high emotional intelligence. When you truly know what makes you tick, what your tendencies are and what motivates you, you can quickly make sense of your emotions. Most importantly, it's this honest understanding and acceptance of what I often call “the good, the bad and the ugly” about yourself that allows you to build strategies to make real progress in mastering the behaviors required to be successful. There’s no defensiveness or excuses. Emotionally intelligent leaders look at themselves in the mirror of feedback and say, “Yes, that’s me.”

2. They are transparent and speak the truth. Emotionally intelligent leaders are authentic leaders who aren’t afraid to let their vulnerabilities be known. They readily acknowledge their flaws and own their mistakes. Likewise, they're able to confront reality and talk straight with others in a manner that lends clarity without game playing or emotional blows. You always know where you stand with an emotionally intelligent leader, and you respect them all the more for it. By allowing their true self to be seen and heard, they give others permission to do the same, which accelerates the building of trust.

3. They connect and are tuned in. The abilities to be perceptive about people and situations, meet others where they are and recognize their needs and emotional responses are hallmarks of emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent leaders listen first, allowing others to be heard. They are open-minded, give thoughtful consideration to other ideas and perspectives and are nonjudgmental in their responses. Emotionally intelligent leaders are not only fully present and able to read others well but can adjust their thinking or approach in response to others to produce a more productive outcome.

4. They are composed and collected. Emotionally intelligent leaders rarely get their buttons pushed. It’s here, in the mastery of self-management, that a leader’s awareness of their emotions is critical, as self-awareness is what allows you to actively make a choice about how to respond. Emotionally intelligent leaders don’t allow their emotions to get hijacked because they recognize that this serves to unnecessarily disrupt and frustrate those around them, sometimes to the point of resentment. Rather, they model constancy and maintain control of even the most difficult situations, which gives their teams the stability that can fuel maximum performance.

Take a moment to reflect on these four attributes. Picture in your mind a leader who displays one or more of these attributes day in and day out. They probably make it look effortless, but trust me, they likely didn’t become proficient in their mastery of the behavior overnight. It’s usually only through diligent practice, self-reflection and feedback that leaders can improve their emotional intelligence. Yes, at first it may feel like heavy lifting. But in time, it can become your natural state of leading. It begins with the first step. Pick one attribute at a time, and get to work on your own emotional intelligence improvement plan. Before you know it, you can be that emotionally intelligent leader that others picture in their minds.

Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?