Monday, June 15, 2015

Hello, I Love You

This post is taken from a completely fictitious interview I conducted with no one...or...everyone...who has ever been hired...by your company.

------------------------------------------------------

Jay - Congratulations on your new job. You must be very excited?

Your New Employee - Yes, it's going to be great.

Jay - I'd love to hear about your experience joining your new company. Tell me about the process.

Your New Employee - Well, it's actually been more complicated than I expected. I saw the position posted online, and tried to apply, but their website was pretty old school, so I had to spend a lot of time just trying to get my application in.

Jay - That's too bad...but you know how applicant tracking systems can be...that's just how it goes.

Your New Employee - Um, I guess so.

Jay - Great! How about your interviews, I bet they were inspiring?

Your New Employee - Well, actually my screening interview was okay, but it was a real hassle getting to the next step to meet with the manager.

Jay - Oh yes, you know how meetings just clog up every one's calendars. That's the modern world of work...you know what I mean, right?

Your New Employee - I waited a couple of weeks to get my interview scheduled. Doesn't that seem a bit long to you? Particularly if the job was so important and needed to be filled right away? At least that's what the recruiter told me.

Jay - Yes! Those jobs are so important! This is great! Tell me about your first day, and the orientation you received. I bet it was awesome, right?

Your New Employee - Not exactly. I sat through a long day of lectures on benefits and policy reviews which probably could have been done ahead of time electronically.

Jay - Excellent! It sounds like they have a great program to get new employees up to speed. I love this! Keep going!

Your New Employee - What? I mean...okay. Once I found my way to my department the next day they didn't quite know what to do with me, so I sat around reading some more policies, and figuring out where to go for lunch.

Jay - Awesome! Lots of flexibility and no pressure as you got started. You must have felt so supported!

Your New Employee - To be honest with you, I didn't feel supported until a coworker reached out and helped me meet some people and show me the ropes. Then I started to feel like a part of the team.

Jay - Well, this has just been terrific. Congratulations again, it sounds like you have made a great career move. You clearly have joined a world class organization!

                         

How About You 
No, this wasn't real...or was it? What would your new team members say in an interview?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.




No comments:

Post a Comment