I've been a full-time coach and consultant for over a decade now. And I've seen some stuff — believe me. When I first started out, I trained salespeople who had experienced hardships in their lives, meaning people who had been incarcerated, divorced, addicted to substances and more. These were the people I set out to serve at the beginning of my career. After all, let's just admit that many of us coaches aim to help people through struggles that we've experienced ourselves, and I know those struggles all too well.
Every few months, I'd have to get real with a client. When I did this, it always came from a place of love, but the truth will often anger those who are not ready to hear it. Overnight, I had super fans turn into super haters. But nothing had changed on my end other than giving them words they didn't want to hear. I've learned that many people will do anything they can to protect their ego from the truth.
I've had super fans become super frazzled and threaten my family, my employees, me personally and more. Nowadays, I'm fully aware that this is part of the job, but in the beginning, I took everything to heart, and it was hard to understand why someone I wanted to help started hating me.
This is what I've learned: If you're not making people mad, you might not be getting real with your clients. I don't say things to be rude and hurt feelings, but no matter how hard we coaches try to avoid it, eventually we will step on the wrong toe that will set a client off on a crusade against us. This usually happens when you know a person's "secrets" and call them out for what they are.
Back in the day, when a client would go off on me, I'd return the favor. I know now that this was and is the stupidest thing to do. Firing back only makes the situation worse. I once had a client get so mad that he spread lies and caused 30 other clients to bail on me. I could have avoided that by responding differently. The other clients didn't like how I replied to the original client, so they left. Lesson learned.
I've discussed this very topic with numerous other coaches. As a result, I know it affects us all. It seems that the more popular your brand is, the more often you'll have turncoat fans. One person I spoke with, who is the top producer for a renowned sales trainer's sales team, told me that people have actually run into the trainer's office when they've gotten fired up.
When you're building a following as a coach online, by blogging and using social media, you're going to have haters. You'll inevitably post content that followers disagree with. When this is the case, some people will unfollow you while others will become super vocal and self-righteous. For those of you who are new to coaching, don't worry -- it's just part of the business.
When someone who's a paying client goes off and gets mad about a touchy subject that needed to be addressed, here's what works for me now: I tell them that I'm sorry and was only trying to help them. I let them vent, and then I apologize again and try to calm them down. If you want to maintain positive relationships with your clients, you sometimes may have to give up your right to be right. In the case of the crusading ex-client, apologizing and smoothing it over is a better option than receiving a bunch of 1-star reviews and derogatory Facebook posts.
I've noticed that the fans who love us the most are often the ones who turn on us the hardest. Remember Selena, the Mexican-American singer? She was murdered by the manager of her fan club.
It's scary how fast fans can go from loving you to hating you. Be careful who you take on as a client. If they seem to have the propensity to get angry and behave foolishly (check their page and see whether they've posted any rants), don't take their money.
Watch out for fans who always drop your name and quote you daily but whom you don't have a relationship with. I'm not talking about the casual Facebook friend tagging you. I'm talking about the person who comments on all of your posts, who tags you and who constantly chimes in no matter the platform. I've found that some of these folks tend to flip hard. When things don't go their way, they can be just as big of an anti-fan as they were a super fan.
The bottom line is that you should expect super fans to go on tirades against you from time to time. It's part of the business.
You can remedy the situation by reminding them that you're there to help, not hurt. Coaches can change lives; that's what we do. But sometimes people don't want their lives changed. They might think they do, but subconsciously, they may not be ready. As you build your coaching business, take the steps necessary to make sure that you act accordingly to preserve your brand and your sanity.
