HR jokes have been around since the dawn of time – well, more accurately, 18th century Europe... As you see, they may not seem like the most fun to hang around, but if you give them a chance, your office HR manager may just crack you up.
Here’s a list of some hilarious HR jokes
- HR talking to their colleagues.
HR: My favorite thing to do is to walk around with a file, go up to a new hire, look them in the eye and say, “Do you have a minute?” The look on their face cracks me up every time. Then I walk away slowly and turn back to see if they’re following me.
- New hire asks a recruiter after an interview: What is it like to be a recruiter?
Recruiter: (whispers) Imagine the oldest version of Internet Explorer.
Now imagine you have 3415 tabs open... all the time.
(somecards.com)
- When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor.”
- I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.
- Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
Guy: What did the HR assistant say to the employee?
Celine: I don’t know.
Guy: Whoa! How did you know that?
- HR: Why are you here?
Interviewee: You asked me to come in for an interview!
HR: No, I mean, why do you want to interview for this job?
Interviewee: To get hired for this job.
HR: I mean, what makes you interested in this job?
Interviewee: Oh, my parents asked me to get a job.
HR: Thank you for your time. Next candidate, please.
- New poster at work: If you find it extremely funny, please get in touch with HR. It is probably a form of harassment.
- Top tips for HR
Tip #1: Not everyone is going to love you.
Tip #2: Very few people will like you.
Tip #3: It doesn’t matter that no one likes you.
Tip #4: No, no, they aren’t actively avoiding you.
Tip #5: If you do your job well, there is a chance that someone will dislike you.
...
Tip #19837: Everyone hates you! Get used to it.
- HR: Hey, you’re the funny guy, right?
Funny guy: (nervously) Um... ha... ha... No.
HR: Yeah you are. Your team lead told me about you.
Funny guy: Oh, I… uh, well. I tend to tell a joke or two.
HR: Go on. Tell us one.
Funny Guy: (gulps) …My break is over. (Waves goodbye and scurries off)
HR: (taking a sip of coffee) …Trying to bond with employees is hard.
HR: Your resume says that you are a perfectionist.
Shankar: Yes, sir, I enjoy it when I do everything perfectly.
HR: You spelled ‘perfectionist’ wrong.
- Dev: Yikes, that guy dresses like a homeless person.
Aishwarya: Why are you so judgmental? Maybe he is having a tough time.
Dev: That’s your trainer. He should set an example by following the dress code.
Aishwarya: OH my GOODNESS! Why can’t people wear what they want? It’s not like you are the HR manager.
Dev: Yes, I am.
Aishwarya: … (Walks away quietly)
- HR Mustafa: It’s been a great interview. So, what kind of salary do you expect?
Interviewee: Eight hundred and fifty thousand a year.
HR Mustafa: You’re a fresher.
Interviewee: Yeah, so?
HR Mustafa: You’re hired.
Interviewee: Really? Thank you so much. I won’t let you down.
HR Mustafa: Wait, I thought we were both making jokes.
- A company building was on fire, and firefighters battled to douse the flames.
Firefighter 1: Wait, I can hear someone shouting.
Firefighter 2: It’s fine. It’s just the HR handing out waivers to the employees who are still in the building.
- HR: Guys, let’s have a bit of team fun.
Employee 1: We have a lot of work to do.
HR: Come on, it’s important to keep the team engaged.
Employee 2: No, seriously, we have some important deadlines to meet.
Employee 3: Dude, that’s the HR. Our bonus review is coming up. So let’s pretend we want to play.
- Management, Accounts, and HR team meet.
CEO: I need you guys to hire the best of the best. The crème de la crème.
HR team: (nods collectively)
CEO: Pay them top dollar and poach the best. I want performance.
HR team: (nods collectively)
CEO: Our budget needs to be cut by 70%.
HR team: (looks at Accounts)
Accountant: (smiles sheepishly)
John: Bob, the HR budget is on your desk.
Bob: Jenny, could you bring me my magnifying glass?
- Two employees in the HR office. HR taps her pen on the desk and looks over her spectacles.
HR: Why…?
Employee 1: He started it.
Employee 2: What?! He threw the banana at me!
Three hours later.
HR: Boss, are you sure hiring monkeys is a smart way to cut the budget?
- Q: Why do you drink so much coffee?
A: I work in HR.
- Team Zoom meeting.
HR: Guys, the new rule is that employees have to wear masks to work starting Monday.
Employee 1: Why? Are we all sitting at home and working?
Employee 2: Yeah, this doesn’t make any sense.
HR: Uh… Work-from-office started three weeks ago.
- HR Rajeev: Why the sudden decision to resign? I thought you were doing great here.
Shankar: You didn’t approve my leave. It’s discrimination, clearly.
HR Rajeev: You applied for three months of maternity leave.
Shankar: Yes.
- Hi guys, I’ve been an HR manager here for five years. As new employees, I’d like to hear feedback from you about the hiring, onboarding, and training process so far.
…
…
…
…
(An air conditioner splutters in a silent room.)
- Employee 1: How come we never see any HR guys at work parties?
Employee 2: Shh, they’ll hear you. They walk around in disguise, watching and waiting for us to make a mistake.
- Sona: My boyfriend left me. What do I do with my life?
Sheik: I’m your HR manager.
Sona: The induction sheet said we could talk to you about anything.
Sheik: Right, please take a seat.
Bella: Don’t you wish you had superpowers?
Sheila: I do.
Bella: Huh?
Sheila: I’m an HR manager.
- Tim: Hello Kevin.
Kevin: Why aren’t you answering my calls?
Tim: Sorry, I’ve been really busy.
Kevin: You said I could reach out anytime.
Tim: Yes, I did… But…
Kevin: Then why would you avoid my calls?
Tim: You resigned from the company where I work as an HR five years ago.
- Joe: Listen, I am sorry about the thing last week.
Tom: That’s okay. As an HR professional, I have learned not to hold grudges.
Joe: That’s especially nice of you.
Tom: No worries! It’s been documented in your employment record. In bold red text. And highlighted in yellow.
- HR 1: Wow. What a meeting.
HR 2: Yep.
HR 1: Three hours of productive solutions.
HR 2: Yes, the 200-word, point-by-point email missed out on the part about squirrels in the parking lot.
- Why is everyone so nice to her?
She is in charge of payroll.
The Best HR Joke in the World
And for the ultimate HR joke, arguably the best HR joke in the world, as it’s so universal:
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CEO: Hi guys. This year, HR has an unlimited budget.
Conclusion
HR teams can get a lot of flak for being overly serious. Take the time to make fun of yourselves and learn to take a few hits for the team. These new HR jokes are a great way of keeping lines of communication open. And if you’re from any other team, take some time out to (carefully) narrate a fun HR joke or two to your favorite HR manager!
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