Mention compassion to some leaders, and they recoil, visualizing a slide into poor productivity, lower performance and organizational entropy. The reality is quite different. Compassion isn’t a fluffy soft skill but courageous action that powerfully impacts organizations.
As a coach, I work with executives and entrepreneurs on global leadership and healthy organizational development. So, as a way to increase my expertise and compassion for others and for myself, I enrolled in Stanford’s eight-week program Compassion Cultivation Training. Sponsored by their School of Medicine's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE), it attracts educators, healthcare practitioners, business leaders and, now, me.
At first, I wondered if it would be like attending a cooking class, where it seems easy to make the soufflé in their kitchen, but at home, it is a fiasco. That was not the case. The simple mindfulness practices helped me focus on my clients rather than emphasizing guidance or advice. I also learned to understand their challenges and suffering, which is defined as any moment that you want to be other than it is.
In business, this happens more frequently than we’d like to admit. My newly fostered compassion supported clients to effectively work through their own uncomfortable issues instead of creating anecdotes, putting up armor or avoiding what needed to be felt. This resulted in fewer reactive unconscious decisions or avoidant nondecisions and more strategic, sustainable solutions.
Compassion begins with empathy—the ability to discern that someone is under stress, or is suffering distress, and then the willingness to relieve suffering by taking action.
According to Dr. Thupten Jinpa of CCARE, compassion is a hallmark of strong leadership: “Compassion, personal integrity, humility, being open to others’ perspectives yet taking responsibility to lead, all rooted in courage and a quiet confidence—these are the marks of truly great leaders.” So how do you walk the walk as a compassionate business leader?
How To Integrate Compassion Into Your Life And Work
Compassion comes in three flavors: compassion with others, compassion with one’s self and the ability to receive someone else’s compassion. I (along with others) realized that I had the most difficulty with the second and third. Here are a few suggestions to actively integrate all three kinds of compassion into your life and work.
Have a morning ritual. Ask yourself not just what you want to get done in the coming day but, more importantly, who you would like to be as a leader.
Practice empathy. During meetings, one-on-ones and performance reviews, seek first to understand and then be understood. Ask what obstacles and difficulties are getting in the way of others performing their jobs, and then do something about it. Remember to focus not only on performance, but on relationships and well-being. WikiHow keeps this focus central to its organization’s values. For example, according to their website, "We all work from home once a week. We don't think working long start-up hours is productive or healthy. We work hard and productively, then go enjoy rich lives outside of work."
Reflect on our common humanity. When working with others, acknowledge and appreciate sameness and unity. Look for where they are “just like me.” Philip von Guggenberg of SRI International shared with me via email a story of a phone conversation with a potential business partner. "In the background, I overheard the voice of his daughter calling for his attention. I didn't let that interfere with our discussion but immediately thought, 'He's a father, too.'" Philip believes that commonality "strengthened the human connection between us, and at the end, when deciding who to do business with, those intangibles can make a difference.”
Practice the art of kindness. Bring caring and kindness into your workday, the way you do with family or friends. Chris Benninger has been the CEO of Guide Dogs for the Blind (GDB) since 2014. (Disclosure: I currently coach one of GDB's supervisors.) When she began, she was the seventh CEO in ten years. She immediately began to change the culture of the organization from an autocratic style to one of care, compassion and collaboration. “Our values now include kindness and respect,” she explained in a 2017 panel I hosted. Although there are multiple factors at play, she sees this approach connected to prosperity within the company: Since she came on board, GDB now serves 27% more clients, annual donations have increased by 19% and the organization has a new $22 million puppy center.
Be receptive and open. Allow others the opportunity to be helpful, generous and understanding with you. Compassion is a two-way street.
Review your day and access self-compassion. Create a mindfulness practice to review your day, and treat yourself with care, kindness and understanding rather than harsh judgment.
After all, there’s no meaningful and successful B2B or B2C if we’re not compassionately H2H (human to human), beginning with ourselves.
