BETA
This is a BETA experience. You may opt-out by clicking here

More From Forbes

Edit Story

Building Authentic Courage: The Essential Foundation For Successful Diversity And Inclusion

This article is more than 4 years old.

Dr. Jacqui Brassey, Director of Learning and Development at McKinsey & Company and a “practitioner academic”, shares with me the essence of her new, coauthored book, Advancing Authentic Confidence through Emotional Flexibility and highlights key lessons for management and leadership training.

Successful Diversity And Inclusion (D&I): An Elusive Fairy-Tale?

Dana is excited. She has just joined a fast-growing start-up. It is a huge opportunity for her. Her project manager, Kurt, is equally thrilled to have her on board; this huge project is his first as lead and Dana brings exactly the right skillset to help steer it in the right direction.

But a few weeks in, Kurt is uneasy. Uncomfortable with Dana’s suggestions and her very different approach to managing suppliers, Kurt senses his control slipping away. Her skills are just what the team needs – her previous organizations raved about her – but her style and her methods are different from his. He starts to worry constantly about how to regain control. He starts questioning not only his decision to hire Dana but his own abilities. He feels stuck and totally unequipped to manage such uncertainty.

For all the noise on the importance of diversity and the benefits of inclusion, there are many leaders who, like Kurt, find managing the realities of D&I easier said than done. They have tried many different tools, initiatives, workshops and events: on unconscious bias, diversity, women’s leadership, LGBTQ+ allies. The list is long, results mixed. Real evidence of progress through D&I is intermittent, irregular or non-existent.

The Inclusion Paradox

One key reason for this lack of progress, not often recognized, is the Inclusion Paradox. This is basic neuroscience: as human beings we love to connect and engage with others. We love to be part of communities, families and friends. And where we feel safe we flourish.

Conversely, when we meet people who are different from us, whether in how they look, work, talk or behave, we can – consciously or unconsciously – feel threatened. Consciously or unconsciously, as we make sense of the world around us, we form impressions about others and tend either to connect or to move away from them, whether physically in the office, in teamwork or over a coffee. We simply feel more at ease creating environments where we mix with people similar to us.

Whilst we know this to be true, in our increasingly complex world we desperately need people to engage with one another, work together and collaborate. We need a broad spread of talent within organizations, with skill and background diversity, more women, ethnic minorities, LGBTQ+ members, and others who are different from us.

So how do we combine our basic, psychological need for safe social engagement with our potential fear of difference and unconscious bias?

The Importance Of Authentic Courage

Working environments are changing fast and flexible working is becoming the norm. Leaders must evolve quickly to lead successful multidisciplinary teams. And top of the list of skills they need is courage: authentic courage to be inclusive.

Three Dimensions Of Modern Leadership

  1. Leaders must be able to integrate different technical skills within multidisciplinary teams: we must effectively draw together different paradigms of thinking and solve problems, weaving in multiple disciplines, such as engineering, design and digital solutions.
  2. Within these multidisciplinary teams leaders must balance technical skills with effective social engagement. We know from neuroscience (Porges’ Polyvagal Theory) that psychological safety is paramount for team members to work effectively within an agile context. Agile working often means uncertainty; an element of risk and prototyping become the norm. Such contexts require a ‘safe’ environment without judgment, with full care and acceptance and freedom to make mistakes. Without a ‘safe’ environment (perceptions are not always conscious), we may find the quality of collaboration compromised.
  3. The most skill important of all – too often overlooked – is the authentic courage to be inclusive. When leaders are working on protracted problems, integrating technical skills and nurturing psychological safety within teams, they themselves may feel insecure, uncertain and uncomfortable about no longer having ‘the right answer’. If unfamiliar inclusivity and diversity drives them out of their comfort zone, their own stress system may be on high alert, and it will take authentic courage to hold the uncertainty and remain inclusive.

Simply put, familiarity makes us feel safe, whilst unfamiliarity – even in the smallest detail – can change that feeling to unsafe. In these circumstances our stress system activates, our executive brain functioning is compromised, our emotional neural pathways take over and we make poorer judgments and decisions.

Crucial Components Of Management And Leadership Training

The role of leader has changed from one of superior knowledge and understanding and having all the answers to one of integrator, synthesizer and connector. We must all strive to develop this new skillset in ourselves and in others in an integrative and inclusive way through ongoing management and leadership training.

Key skills include suspending judgment, accepting fear and discomfort, mindfulness, curiosity, distant observation, staying grounded, keeping the end goal in mind, awareness, having a consciousness ‘radar’, and staying with the discomfort of not knowing the answers. Such skills combined bring authentic confidence, emotional flexibility and the courage to be inclusive.

All these competences can be taught and integrated into learning and development programs but they are still not getting enough traction.

Once we understand the paradox of inclusion and start to nurture these leadership skills at the helm of effective multidisciplinary teams, we will pave the way for real impact on diversity and create the environment where inclusion harnesses the rewards of a diverse talent base.


Dr. Jacqui Brassey coauthored Advancing Authentic Confidence through Emotional Flexibility with Prof dr. Nick van Dam and Prof dr. Arjen van Witteloostuijn. As well as part of McKinsey’s Learning Leadership Team, Dr. Brassey is Adjunct Professor at IE University, Research Fellow at VU Amsterdam and Supervisory Board member at Save the Children in the Netherlands. She has coauthored more than 15 publications.


If you’d like more information about professional development programs to support your future modern leaders, please visit My Confidence Matters.

My Confidence MattersLeadership Coaching - My Confidence Matters

FortuneCommentary: The Questions Companies Should Ask Themselves to Prepare for a New Era of Business


McKinsey & CompanyWhy diversity matters
Follow me on Twitter or LinkedInCheck out my website