It was inevitable that digital communications would reduce phone calls and face-to-face meetings.
But too many people, from the C-suite to the front desk, have forgotten that one quick call can avert a war that would erupt over email. And an in-person meeting can help a team come to a deeper consensus on a key issue than if members chimed in electronically.
Ultimately, it's a human issue. "Organic" and "slow" and "local" have become aspirations in health and nutrition, but not yet in communications.
The late Steven Sample, the author of The Contrarian's Guide to Leadership and a technologist with a humanist’s heart, put the issue in stark terms.
"Any leader who thinks that a memo is as effective as a face-to-face meeting, or that an email is as effective as a phone call, is still playing in the minor leagues," Sample wrote. "There's a reason for this: humans have been communicating orally for hundreds of thousands of years, while the widespread use of the written word as a means of timely communication is only a few hundred years old. The contrarian leader knows that the human brain is prewired at the deepest levels in favor of the spoken word."
Technology at times can't match the human touch.
But let’s concede that some things have changed. Forbes senior contributor Brianna Wiest recently helped show the solid reasons why millennials prefer emails to phone calls, a chief reason being efficiency. That certainly applies to ordinary interactions. But if an issue is emotionally charged or involves real disagreement, we need to recognize that email is a disaster. (For that matter, so too is any alternative form of text-based communication that experts like to say is preferable to stodgy email.)
An open rebuke is better than hidden love, according to the old proverb. But that timeless wisdom conks out in cyberspace. Even a slightly terse note will sit there on the recipient’s screen, the words scalding her retinas and convincing her that she’s being disrespected by a belligerent jerk. She responds with obvious irritation, and escalation ensues.
A colleague once described the challenge in working with a particular manager: "Tim’s a delight, until he starts sending out those emails requesting status updates and trying to resolve delays. Suddenly, he's Terrible Tim, he comes off as high-handed, people feel put on the defensive, and everyone's furious at him. I tell him, 'Tim, just pick up the phone and calmly explain to folks what you need, and you won't have so many people wanting to kill you.'"
In Tim's mind, he's simply being speedy and direct. If he tries calling, he might not reach the other person, and he doesn't have time to leave a message or to schedule a time to talk. In his mind, his emails are "perfect," succinctly stating what he needs and when. But where Tim thinks his emails sound as though they were penned by General Washington, readers feel they were authored by Genghis Khan.
If you have to ask, "Why is the project falling behind?" and if you're even a tad upset about it, rest assured that your irritation will come out far more nakedly through tech than through old-fashioned means.
No matter how angry we are, most of us naturally fall into a polite tone in conversation that's warmer than the one that we write with. Also, the synchronous nature of real human communication instantly resolves any confusion or misunderstandings that might foster defensiveness on the part of others.
Another limitation of e-communications involves how deliberations and decisions made through them may not bring deeper issues to the surface. Sure, someone can give a legally binding "OK" by email or text, but it may take an in-person meeting to reveal any misgivings or hesitation or passive-aggressiveness in that response. (Videoconferencing can help somewhat in this regard, but it's limited in its ability to convey body language and other nonverbal cues.)
No, the old-school approach isn't as convenient as tech-driven approaches. But it's organic—and if we can have an organic revolution in nutrition, we can have one in communications, which is as core to our humanity at a psychic level as nutrition is at a physical level.
And before anyone says, “OK, Boomer,” please note that I'm Gen X, thank you.
