BETA
This is a BETA experience. You may opt-out by clicking here

More From Forbes

Edit Story

My Dad Turns 100: 13 Critical Life Lessons I Learned From My Father

This article is more than 4 years old.

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain

I celebrated my father’s 100th birthday recently with a prayer. It is so hard to believe he has been gone for 14 years already. The son of Slovak immigrants, he survived the Great Depression, served in World War II, went to college on the GI Bill, and managed to raise eight kids on a very modest income. And yet my dad was able to later leave his kids a seven-figure stock portfolio. When I asked him how he did it, he smiled and said, “Nickels and dimes, Aug. Nickels and dimes and a million dollars’ worth of consistency and compound interest.”

I owe so much to my dad. Here are a few examples:

  1. The Value of Education. My dad was fanatically committed to education. He earned a master’s degree and the course work for his PhD by going to the University of Pittsburgh at night. His children never questioned for a single second whether we would go to college. It was just assumed. I owe my own commitment to lifelong learning to my father.
  2. The Value of Hard Work. Like his father before him, my dad believed that dedication and hard work could overcome just about any genetic or societal disadvantage life could throw at him. I have found this to be true. I was delivering papers, mowing lawns and shoveling snow as a 9-year-old, and I finagled my first full time summer job at the ripe old age of 12. I often met people smarter than me. Few could outwork me.
  3. Be Your Best. My dad always expected my best. As a fifth grader, I managed to make the football team. One day I came home almost in tears because the coach had “hollered at me.” My dad smiled and said, “He hollered at you because he cares. He wants you to be your best. When he stops hollering is when we start to worry!”
  4. The Value of Sacrifice. Look up deferred gratification in your dictionary and if my dad's picture isn’t there it should be. My dad cheerfully worked two and sometimes three jobs for his family. He expected very little for himself except for that jar of cold water he kept in the "icebox" that his feckless kids kept drinking and returning empty!
  5. Be a Saver and Investor. My dad got me saving and investing in stocks as a 9-year-old newspaper boy. Like him, I have been a saver rather than a spender ever since. As a corollary, my dad didn't borrow money and neither do I.
  6. Don't Cut Corners. My dad never cut corners. He taught us to go the extra mile instead. "Be the first in and the last out because there is always someone watching. Successful people look around for more work rather than trying to shirk it. ‘That’s not my job!’ is not in their vocabulary.”
  7. Never Worry About "The Other Guy." My dad was not envious. He didn't slack off because “the other guy" was, and he didn't worry about how much "the other guy" was making. "Don't worry about what the other guy is doing," he always said. "Make the other guy worry about what you are doing."
  8. Be Bold! My dad taught me audacity. Whether it was landing front row Rolling Stones' tickets, a prep school scholarship, a handwritten letter from J.D Salinger, a job at MTV, starting my own company on $2500, or winning $100,000 in an essay contest on my first try at writing, most of my success just came from audaciously "going for it." Most folks think, "That could never happen for me." My dad taught me to think, "Why not me?"
  9. Always Have a Guy. I can still see my dad calling up the owner of the best bakery in Pittsburgh. “Reg,” he would invariably say, “It’s Augie, Reg.” Soon, we would be on our way to buy bake goods for $.50 cents on the dollar. My father “had a guy” for everything. He never paid retail, and cash rarely changed hands. How did he do it? First, my father genuinely liked people. He made friends everywhere. Secondly, he was always looking for opportunities to do favors for others. “Never wait till you need something,” he often told me, “if you want people to help you offer to help them first.” I took his “pay it forward” advice to heart. Whenever I need something, my first question is, “Who do I know?” And whenever I have something, my first question is “Who can I share this with?” Whether it is bake goods or billion-dollar enterprises, the best people always “have a guy.”
  10. Be a Fighter. My dad was neither violent nor physically aggressive, but he taught me to never walk away from a fight that needed fighting. When I complained of bullying as a kid, he suggested a timely sock in the kisser. I followed his advice, and I have never looked back. Fear is the single greatest obstacle on the path to success. Never let fear hold you back.
  11. The Value of Struggle. Helping your kids succeed is relatively easy. Knowing when to let them struggle is hard. I was my father’s oldest son, and he desperately wanted me to succeed. But he also understood how important it was to resist the temptation to intervene. At 14, I won a scholarship to the Hotchkiss School, an exclusive boarding school in Connecticut. For the first two years I was way over my head, miserable, and failing miserably. Though sympathetic, my father wouldn’t let me quit, and in my senior year I turned it all around. Looking back, this was a crucial turning point in my life, and I owe it to my father’s ability to sit on his hands. As a leader, knowing when to intervene and when to let someone struggle is a critical skill as well.
  12. Don’t Neglect Your Soul. My father was a deeply religious man. We often prayed together as a family in the car, and I can still remember him dragging my reluctant and semi somnolent body out of bed at 6 a.m. every day during Lent so we could go to Mass.  My own spirituality has always been my number one priority, and I trace every inch of success I’ve ever had back to this commitment.  
  13. Family is Everything. My dad was the consummate “Family Man.” He was so dedicated to his kids that when he joined a golf league at work, he took me and my brother along as 10 and 8-year-old "caddies." My mother would laugh and say, “Your father can’t even go to the grocery store without three or four of you kids for company!” My dad didn't drink, smoke, or "hang with the guys." All he wanted was to be with his family.

Shortly before he died, my dad was visited by a priest. When he left, my brother asked what they had spoken about.

"I asked Father if it was OK to pray for myself," he said.

"Of course, it is!"

"Yes, that's what Father said. But I am just so grateful for my family that I can't bring myself to ask God for anything else."

Happy 100th Pop!

Check out my website