FROM THE BLOOPER BOOK

Sometimes it’s a spelling error that changes the meaning of their response. Sometimes they write details when they shouldn’t. This month, we highlight several warriors of the job application, from the polite to the vengeful, and everything in between.

No, he wasn’t applying at Twitter:

Response to client’s e-mailed job offer: “Gr8!  Whn you can,,, pls call my references w/phone #s.  They rock! Many thx”

I don’t mean to exaggerate my importance, but …

Q. What other experience do you have that you believe will help you be a successful employee?

A. “Im a public service”

But Officer, SHE broke the law FIRST!

Q. Have you ever been convicted of a criminal record?

A. “A lady keyed my car for supposively taking her parking spot, so I keyed her car back. I got caught she didnt.”

Well, since you asked nicely …

On Aurico’s authorization form, next to his signature: “I’ve been good, please don’t do a background check.”

 
I wore many hats at my last job.

Job Title and description of your work: “Grass cutter; cutting grass, picking up grass, trimming grass, mowing grass.”

And finally, from an applicant’s criminal case file …

On a motion to alter the terms of his home confinement: “The defendant, by this motion, seeks leave of court to spend Sunday afternoon at a relative’s home to watch the Steelers win the Superbowl. Counsel for defendant acknowledges the possibility that the Steelers may not win, but feels, nevertheless, that being optimistic is important.”