From the Blooper Book

Job applications, résumés, court documents – every once in a while, we have some that make you scratch your head.   Take a look at a few applicants who didn’t think things through, as well as a quirky attorney and court clerk with typing issues.

Well, that’s what I always call him:

Supervisor’s Name: John Phillips

Supervisor’s Title: Mr.
 

You wanted those back?

Have you been convicted of a felony in the last 7 years? “2009, Burglary of an Automobile.  I opened a car to use a tool & jack to replace a flat. Forgot to replace tool & jack.”

This should clear up everything:

Have you been convicted of a crime in the last 7 years? “1995 Felony (accident)”
 

Filled out my application on Opposite Day:

List three business references (do not list relatives):

Mom [phone number redacted]

Uncle Jim [phone number redacted]

My fionce Darla [phone number redacted]

 

Just reporting the facts, ma’am:

From a defense attorney’s rebuttal filing: “Defendant is a good-looking young man and a body builder.  When he goes out, he attracts more than a fair share of female attention.”

Even the government can have an off day:

From a criminal sentencing record: “The defendant is hereby committed to the custody of the United States of Prisons to be imprisoned for a total term of Sixty (70) months, to runny concurrently with he State sentence.”