Are you truly present with yourself or are you distracted, thinking about what you have to do later, checking your mobile phone, basically not “with” yourself?
Is it uncomfortable to be alone, to do nothing, to have space and no immediate thing that’s consuming your focus?
Can you be present without dwelling on the past or planning for/worrying about the future?
When you’re present you’re still. And stillness actually speaks. That still small voice is the voice of your intuition, your Higher Self, your Spidey Sense—whatever you’d like to call it. And that voice is wise. It’s not rushing maniacally, it’s not stressed and scared, it’s not angry and irritable.
How To Be Here Now :
When you’re not present, you’re asleep to your true self.
As an executive coach, this is when I see my clients make bad decisions, hurt others, forget to honor their needs, and basically create drama or the feeling of constant doing (ever felt like a Human Doing vs a Human Being?) which kills the experience of being fulfilled.
Great Tools To Get Present Are:
- Stop. Breathe in, pause, breathe out. Notice the world around you. Notice what you’re seeing, hearing, feeling. Our Emotion Wheel can help you notice what you’re feeling. Feelings are how humans experience the world—so they’re really important! Check in daily on how you’re feeling. It’s a great way to pause and slow down and get present.
SmartTribes Institute - If you can’t get present because you’re really stressed or angry, use our Maneuvers of Consciousness process to get you unstuck.
Here’s how it works: Ideally, you’ll do this with a buddy. All they’ll do is time the steps and witness your work. If you stop before the timer is up they’ll encourage you to keep going and stretch.
To start, think of something you are resisting and do the following:
- Negative Evaluation (3 min) - say out loud all the things you don’t like, what’s bad about this, what you can’t stand. Really trash it. When time’s up what are your feelings here? Break State: shake your body out, count to 10 to “break” your emotional state.
- Curiosity (3 min) – get really curious about this situation. Hmmm… how did it come to be? What is familiar about it? What good things come from it? When time’s up what are your feelings here? Break State.
- Amazement (3 min) – become amazed that it came to be. Wow! This is fascinating! What’s amazing about it? When time’s up what are your feelings here? Break State.
- Full Appreciation (3 min) – ahhhh… now honor everything about this situation/state. Yessss! How has this experience been super helpful to bring you to the next level? Wow. Feel gratitude and appreciation. When time’s up what are your feelings here? Break State.
- Switch.
Now notice how you feel. Better, yes? You’ve moved on the Emotion Wheel from the Mad, Sad, Scared sections to the Peaceful, Powerful, Joyful sections… and all in 12 minutes. This is how emotionally resilient you are! How cool is that?
Some tools to foster a connection to yourself:
- Emotion Wheel
- Maneuvers of Consciousness
If you’d like to explore coaching with me or participate in our retreats or workshops, we’d love to hear from you.
The Net-Net
- When we’re perpetually busy, distracted, not present with ourselves we suffer
- When can get present by checking in regarding how we’re feeling
- We can use Maneuvers of Consciousness when we’re really angry/irritated/stuck and need to shift
How present are you feeling today?
Christine Comaford is a leadership and culture coach who helps businesses achieve growth. Learn more at SmartTribes Institute and see Power Your Tribe: Create Resilient Teams in Turbulent Times and SmartTribes: How Teams Become Brilliant Together.
