club clubhouse

I’ve tried to like Clubhouse. I really have. I joined on January 1 of this year, dutifully invited other people and have popped in to assorted rooms on a variety of topics a few times each week.  

I don’t like it.

Apparently I’m in the minority (of the minority; more on that later). Clubhouse has 10 million weekly active users and is ranked #5 in the Apple App Store under the Social Networking category. In January the app was downloaded 2.3 million times and 30% of all downloads have happened since then.

Look; I love checking out new tech and new social networks although I have never been the sort to “force” myself to become an active user just because it’s the newest thing (reference my early-adopted and very very very inactive Snapchat and TikTok accounts). And Clubhouse, for all the buzz, just annoys me on a visceral level.  

  • Exclusivity.  Between the invite only aspect of the beta rollout and the fact it’s only available to iPhone/iOS users, it feels like yet another access tool that pits the haves vs. have-nots.
  • Data Security. Clubhouse collects users’ contact lists as the only way to send invites is to share your contacts. Furthermore, the transmission of data and discussions to both an unaffiliated Android app and, potentially, the Chinese government, raises some serious concerns.
  • Designed for “Influencers.” We’re in the age of the self-anointed celebrity; a world in which IG likes and viral tweets are, for far too many, their raison d’etre. Clubhouse, with an eye towards monetization and revenue, has built the app with this in mind.  (and if there’s anything worse than “thought leaders” it’s “influencers”). Even in this nascent stage I have found the posturing and self-promotion of far too many Clubhouse users to be absolutely vomit-inducing.
  • Trolls and Grifters have Arrived. Back in September, the conversation in a room devolved into anti-Semitic stereotyping. Ali Alexander, in hiding (and raising money!) after organizing #StopTheSteal that kicked off the Jan 6th insurrection at the capital, still has time to host Clubhouse sessions.

And to boot, even aside from those items listed above, I just really don’t get the appeal of the entire experience. Oh sure; there are similarities to podcasts but this feels different. Like everyone is trying too hard.

If I want to hang out on yet another conference call and listen to folks pontificate I can convene a meeting at work or join a SHRM webinar. If I want background noise while working I can fire up my Spotify or run some HGTV shows in the background. If I need to get in the mood a la Jeffrey Toobin I can certainly find a better way.

Am I still “in” the club? Yeah I am. I’m the wallflower at the 7th grade dance trying to figure out why-exactly-in-the-hell everyone is so amped up.

I don’t get it. And doubt I ever will.

*****

Oh. And if you want to try the NEXT next thing – you can get in on the beta of Space or wait to join @TwitterSpaces. which is moving fast.

Join the Club. Or Not.
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