Emotional Intelligence Executive Master Coach at InLight Coaching. Let EI enhance your career and relationships with EQi-2/360® Assessments.
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According to researchers at Monash University, the brains of people who respond empathetically and emotionally to others’ feelings are physically different from those who tend to react overly analytically. Those who act with greater empathy and compassion actually have greater gray matter density and cognitive and affective empathy than those who act overly analytically. Thus, recognizing that acting with empathy and compassion is a desirable trait we should all have more of, the study raises the question of whether people can train themselves to act with greater empathy and compassion.
Defining Our Terms
As always, before we go further it's helpful to define our terms:
Overly analytical refers to someone who tends to think or respond in a logically consistent way, but who has taken that otherwise desirable quality to the extreme. He or she ignores emotional factors and often seems cold or unfeeling. Take the character Spock from Star Trek as an example.
As to empathy, it breaks down into two different kinds: affective empathy and cognitive empathy. Affective empathy refers to our physical feelings as we respond to other people’s emotions. Cognitive empathy, on the other hand, is concerned with our ability to identify and understand other people's emotions.
While each concept is important in its own right, one could argue that our study of emotional intelligence is more aligned with cognitive empathy than affective empathy. This is because our goal should be not only to, as much as we can, experience the feelings of others but also to use that attempt as a basis for understanding, compassion, decision-making and leadership.
Compassion, as I use the term, means not only trying to put yourself in the other person’s shoes but also acting—or at least wanting to act—in a way that helps them. Thus, compassion goes beyond empathy and beyond kindness by uniting the two. Someone who responds with compassion and emotional thinking is more likely to consider how their actions make others feel and put more value on those feelings. These people often demonstrate an acute understanding of how others feel and are ready to help them.
Why Balance Acting Analytically With Compassion?
While thinking analytically might be great for creating a framework and problem-solving, compassion reminds us of why we are taking action and can give us the drive to begin and the motivation to keep going. This emotional aspect is essential in decision-making because it helps us assign value to our actions and decisions, regardless of the possible outcomes on paper.
There is, of course, a time and a place for acting analytically and a time and a place for showing compassion. However, it’s not always easy to know exactly which is which. This article will examine the difficulty in establishing a bright line between the two and will look at how you can develop both for a more balanced and satisfying approach to life.
Everyone is somewhere on the spectrum between the extremes of tending to act overly analytically and tending to act overly compassionately. And, without going to the extremes, both approaches are absolutely essential for every well-rounded, mentally mature individual. Acting analytically can help you keep a cool head while everyone else is losing theirs, while someone who tends to act with a great deal of concern for others is often quite effective and a great team leader.
The trick is to balance the two and not act unduly analytically or with compassion which ignores reality and practicality. By doing so, you can become a more effective leader and societal participant. This is so because finding and implementing solutions is not the only goal in life. To be an effective human being, it is essential that you understand the result of your actions and decisions as they affect others. Taking these considerations into account, you may see that a logical A + B = C solution is not the best result and that perhaps you need to use emotional intelligence and empathetic skill to not only find a solution but also ensure that those affected by it are on board with it.
Harmonizing Acting Analytically And Compassion
Here are a few suggestions as to how you can cultivate more empathy while at the same time acting analytically:
See The Big Picture
Too much empathy can limit you to a limited, “small picture” perspective instead of one which takes into account overall and long-term consequences. For example, entirely shutting down a program because a few people are disadvantaged by it despite the fact that it benefits a much larger number. Thus, take a few beats to consider all consequences of your actions.
Stay Calm And Resist Impassioned Actions
Empathy has also been used to elicit violent or aggressive responses. Rather than being roused to anger or aggressive action, it can be wise to be more measured and rational. Empathize with those suffering but beware of when someone is attempting to use emotions to prompt you to action.
Be Aware Of Your Biases
Yes, be aware that empathy is biased. We all have our deeply ingrained prejudices, emotional attachments and sympathies, many of which are so deep-seated that we don’t even know we possess them. For an in-depth discussion of such biases, I recommend Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Righteous Mind. His research and that of many others have shown that people are often biased in favor of those who look like them, those they know, those in a shared racial group or geographical location, those with the same religion, and for many other reasons. While the suffering remains the same, a person’s relationship to the sufferer can change the response.
So empathy is not universal across the board as it extends to all people and situations. Consider this as you work to improve your decision-making and the quality of your daily actions.
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