Being a leader in your industry can be highly rewarding, but it can also come with its own unique challenges. Sometimes, though, these challenges may not become clear until you’re actually in a leadership position.
As respected professionals in business and career coaching, the members of Forbes Coaches Council have learned invaluable lessons about leadership along their professional journeys. We asked a panel of them to share some surprising things about leadership that they wish they knew when they started their career. Their best responses are below.
1. Nobody Really Knows What They're Doing
A CEO once confided to me, "I was nervous to take this job. I was afraid everyone would see I don't know what I'm doing. It turns out no one else knows what they're doing either!" Although we spent our coaching session clarifying his strategy, there was courage in his opening words. If you don't feel like you know what you're doing, leap into leadership anyway. You're more ready than you think. - Joelle Jay, LRI
2. Building Relationships Is Essential
Relationship-building is one of the key elements of being a leader. I learned this midway through my career and this awareness really aided me in learning more about my own self-awareness and my impact on others. Learning your blind spots can make you a leader. Ignoring them will inhibit your growth. - Dan Ryan, Ryan Search & Consulting
3. You Cannot Control People
Unlike the portrayal of leaders in movies where they come in, take control and make a bad situation good, the truth is much different. People are not automatons. They are humans with passions, aspirations and their own reasoning. You cannot control them like chess pieces on a board. Rather, you must accept that they will do what they want in the end. To be effective, learn how to guide them. - Kevin Black, Kevin Black Consulting
4. Leadership And People Management Are Different Skills
Leadership and management are not synonymous. Leadership is the action of leading a group of people or an organization, while management is the process or responsibility of running an organization. In order to operate a functional organization, a leader must also be a great people manager. This starts by assigning tasks according to people's strengths and cultivating growth opportunities. - A. Margot Brisky, ELDA4U, LLC
5. Leadership Is About Letting Go
The more you hustle to be right, impress, be liked, win and maintain control, the less effective of a leader you will be. Leadership is letting go of certainty, right answers, being liked, being perfect and winning at all costs. This is replaced by accepting you can only do the very best you can, building others around you, having boundaries, listening intently and risking personal failure. - Jenn Lofgren, Incito Executive & Leadership Development
6. Admitting A Weakness Conveys Confidence
Early in my career, I thought I had to keep a "stiff upper lip" when I made a bad discussion or failed at something. This posture fed into my perfectionism and allowed my inner critic have her way with me. As I now admit when I’m anxious, disappointed, frustrated or regretful, colleagues and clients pick up on my strength, my confidence and my growth mindset. - Deborah Goldstein, DRIVEN Professionals
7. Context And Timing Often Matter More Than Content
Most of the challenges leaders I have worked with face boil down to how well (or not) they are able to communicate—communicate their vision, their unique selling proposition, communicate to get buy-in from their teams and other stakeholders (including suppliers, partners, customers and investors). In many cases, context and timing matter more than the content that is being delivered. - Claudio Toyama, Toyama&Co.
8. Empathy And Listening Go A Long Way
What I wish I knew before starting my management career is that people, whether inside or outside of work, want basic things. We do not need to go to college to learn what those things are. We just need to care about people, exercise intuition about their needs and listen intently to what they are saying in their words and actions. Empathy and listening allow most any leader to thrive. - Heather R. Younger, J.D., Customer Fanatix, LLC
9. Lead From Behind
The greatest leaders lead from behind, elevating people around them and inspiring co-creation and autonomy. They are transparent with information, capitalize and magnify individual strengths for the greater good and push people out of their comfort zone while having their back in case they fall. Seeing the team as a collective as opposed to a group of many exponentially accelerates success. - Ashley Good, Ashley Good Coaching & Consulting
10. Leadership Equals Being Your Best Self
It's funny how the thought that you have to have this quality or that quality to be a great leader pervades bestseller lists today. I wish I had known that to become a truly great leader, you have to accomplish only one thing: Lead from your highest values and with your highest talents. No need to become some "New York Times bestseller" version of a leader when it does not fit. Be yourself! - John Hittler, Evoking Genius
11. Invest In Your Own Evolution
One of the most powerful aspects of leadership to be learned is that leadership means we invest in our own evolution. That we seek out experiences and learnings that transform our emotional intelligence so that we can continually grow as effective leaders. This helps us to really embody feed-forward loops, communication, transparency and comfortability of learning from mistakes. - Dr. Denise Trudeau-Poskas, Blue Egg Leadership
12. Positive Influence Trumps Titles
It’s not about titles; it’s about influence. I’ve worked for bosses who were not leaders and I’ve worked alongside people who were born leaders. Leadership is not about the title—it’s about if you can influence and help others grow their skills and leadership qualities. You can have a fear-based influence, which stunts others, or collaborative leadership, which leads to team success. - Frances McIntosh, Intentional Coaching LLC
13. Don't Prove Yourself, Share Your Talents
Don't try to prove yourself. Although you may be experiencing success with that approach, it's a mindset that ultimately turns people off and leaves you feeling exhausted. Proving yourself has an energy conveying you're better than others as you aim for perfectionism. Thinking and acting this way isn't sustainable, burning you out. A healthier mindset is to consider how you can share your talents. - Rosie Guagliardo, InnerBrilliance Coaching
14. You Can't Lead All People The Same Way
Being an effective leader doesn't mean you treat all people the same way. Using one leadership approach with all people can feel overbearing to some and unsupportive to others. The best leaders flex their leadership styles and tailor the level of direction and support they provide to match the competence level, confidence level and motivation needs of the person they’re leading. - Lisa Zigarmi, The Consciousness Project, LLC
15. No Two Leaders Are Alike
Everyone has seen the stereotypical, charismatic leader in front of a group, with the crowd hanging on each word. But leaders come in all personalities. They can be quiet and thoughtful, boisterous and fun, strategic and analytical or any combination of attributes. Successful leaders are entirely themselves. They embrace their strengths and lead effectively without trying to be anyone else. - Molly Walsh, Standout Consulting
