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Within a professional workplace, senior leaders, managers and peers are expected to provide constructive criticism to their colleagues and teammates to foster growth and collaboration. Unfortunately, criticism is sometimes leveled in the workplace without any beneficial intent, potentially leading to alienation and demotivation on the part of impacted employees.
To effectively handle such situations, it is crucial for new professionals entering the workforce to learn how to discern unhelpful or even harmful criticism from constructive feedback. Below, 17 Forbes Coaches Council members offer practical advice on how to identify unconstructive criticism and navigate these encounters with confidence and professionalism.
1. Ask For Specifics
When an employee notices unhelpful criticism, it may be in the form of nonspecific instruction. To handle unhelpful criticism, a new professional can ask for specifics: If the criticism is vague or general, ask for specific examples and actionable steps to improve. By seeking the specifics, new professionals can navigate criticism effectively and continue to grow and succeed in their careers. - Ken Gosnell, CEO Experience
2. Request A One-On-One
Feedback should always be encouraged, as it allows for professional growth and development. If there is unwanted or unhealthy criticism occurring, it would be helpful to request a one-on-one with the individual to address what backing they have for their criticism in private. It is important to always filter out the noise using any data that colleagues or leaders can provide individuals with. - X. Carmen Qadir, Coaching & Consulting Experience, LLC
3. Set ‘Rules Of Engagement’
Stop drama and people-problems. Suggest setting powerful guidelines for your team, called “rules of engagement,” to make sure everyone agrees on how to work together most efficiently. To end behind-the-back critical conversations, ask: 1. What is expected? 2. What is acceptable performance? 3. What do we do when agreements are broken? The team creates these rules, so the team is responsible for keeping them! - Dr. Jayne Gardner
4. Get Input From A Trusted Colleague
As professionals, it is essential to learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy criticism. If you don’t yet have a solid internal compass to know if the comments are healthy, ask yourself if you would make this statement to a friend. Does the criticism help you improve your performance appreciably? If not, you may seek input from a trusted colleague or mentor on how to respond professionally. - Maureen Metcalf, Innovative Leadership Institute
5. Listen For The ‘Kernel Of Truth’
Constructive criticism can be hard to take, even if well-intended and important. However, we all must get better at listening for the “kernel of truth” in almost all feedback, rather than becoming defensive and rationalizing. Giving feedback directly takes courage and a commitment to team goals and professional development. Become curious and ask good questions to better understand the feedback. - Christine Allen, Ph.D, Insight Business Works
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6. Understand What Not To Do
When it comes to dealing with unhealthy criticism, the greatest value for the young professional is learning what not to do. Leadership isn’t about possessing a license to speak your mind without considering others. It’s about influence. Effective leaders ask questions far more than they make statements. The sooner a young professional learns that, the better. - Randy Shattuck, The Shattuck Group
7. Decide How You’ll Choose To Perceive Criticism
Is it criticism or constructive feedback? Part of the answer comes in how you choose to view it. Separate the message from how it was delivered and how you might perceive the intent of the sender. Just as there is often truth in jest, there is often a nugget of learning inside criticism that is hard to hear. Take it for the message, and then decide what (if anything) to do with it. - Kevin Eikenberry, The Kevin Eikenberry Group
8. Treat Feedback Like Data
This is a tough situation because new professionals are just learning and starting to make their mark on the world; very few know how to handle feedback with grace and detachment. Words can multiply or detract. That said, having good people in your life, both personally and professionally, to work through it with you can help you not blindly accept feedback as truth. Feedback is data—you have to decide how to use it. - Jodie Charlop, Exceleration Partners
9. Trust Your Gut Response
To identify harmful criticism, trust your gut response. Did it feel supportive? Was it kind? Did it provide you with new insights or information? If not, then it was not helpful. As a new professional, unfamiliar with the culture or landscape, the best way to address this is with curiosity. Ask if their tone was meant to sound harsh, or their words critical. Then, tell them how you learn best. - Candice Gottlieb-Clark, Dynamic Team Solutions
10. Focus On What The Facts Say
Helpful criticism focuses on facts, the impacts of those facts and what can be learned from them. Harmful criticism veers into observations about what these facts imply about character, competence or motives, all of which are speculation. When a new professional spots the latter, it is most helpful if they focus on the facts and what can be learned, or co-learned, thus restoring the constructiveness of criticism. - Maureen Cunningham, Up Until Now Inc.
11. See If Feedback Focuses On The Action Or The Person
Criticism should be based on facts, not fiction. Criticism is essentially feedback. Feedback is essentially a form of continuous improvement. When you spot someone criticizing someone based on that person’s personality and not their actions, that’s a problem. Saying, “You are stupid” is harmful. Saying, “What you just said was off-point” is factual. Focus on the action, not the person. - Alex Draper, DX Learning Solutions
12. Get A Second Opinion
It’s essential to pay attention to the intent behind criticism—especially if it’s coming from someone you don’t know very well. For helpful feedback, listen for support and look for ways to act on it. Questionable advice? Get a second opinion, and remember that it’s okay to politely disagree or say “no” if something doesn’t feel right. - Peter Boolkah, The Transition Guy
13. Listen To Understand Rather Than React
For a new professional, reflective listening skills are key. Instead of listening to respond, seek clarity. Try this: Pause, paraphrase what you heard and then pose a question for clarity. When you listen to understand rather than react, you’ll gain clarity, as will your peers, and the criticism will naturally soften. - Michelle Rockwood, Unscripted Sales
14. Ask Powerful Questions
When we receive criticism or judgment, we have options. We get to decide whether to accept those suggestions and adjust our behavior, question the credibility of those suggestions, or dismiss them as non-truths. To help you make the best choice, get curious and ask powerful questions to determine the validity of the statements, such as, “How so?” “What makes you think that?” or, “Tell me more.” - Vered Kogan, Momentum Institute
15. Trust The Language Of The Body And Your Emotions
The response to unhelpful criticism feels like a contraction in the body. Learning to trust the language of the body and our emotions alerts us to when our boundaries have been crossed, even if our mind tells us otherwise. I encourage naming what we are observing, being specific and neutral, and stating the impact it has on us. Maybe that impact was unintended. - Alessandra Marazzi, Alessandra Marazzi GmbH
16. Speak With A Manager Or HR
Criticism is usually well-intentioned, but managers or peers may fail to realize when it has a negative effect. Coupling positive feedback with the word “but” has a tendency to diminish the compliment; employees often focus on the criticism that follows. Employees facing excessive or unhelpful criticism should speak with a manager or human resources to express their feelings and find a resolution. - Michael Timmes, Insperity
17. Don’t Go On The Defensive
For new professionals, make sure that feedback doesn’t put you on the defensive. Be open to feedback no matter what it is. There is always something to learn either about oneself or about others. Consider the source as a first step, then ask open-ended questions and ask for specific situations that resulted in the feedback. It is not a debate—use it as a teaching moment. - Sahar Andrade, MB.BCh, Sahar Consulting, LLC
