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An executive coaching engagement can take a leader on a transformative journey, providing opportunities for growth, self-reflection and enhancing their effectiveness. However, there are times when executive coaches encounter behaviors or situations that raise questions about a client’s leadership capabilities.
These experiences present unique challenges, demanding careful navigation and a delicate balance between support and constructive feedback. Below, 18 Forbes Coaches Council members draw upon experiences they’ve had in their executive coaching practices to explore instances that made them question a client’s leadership and how they handled these concerns.
1. Feeling More Important Than Their Peers
In an executive coaching engagement, the leader was in a space wherein he felt that his role was more critical and more important than the roles of his peers because of its direct impact on the company’s top line. Using metaphors and visual thinking, we deconstructed the power equations existing in the leader’s mind and slowly shifted his paradigm of thought around power, sources of power and power equations. - Gitanjali Saksena, LagomWorks
2. Being Unwilling To Change
I’ve witnessed leaders getting stuck in the same story and bringing up the same issue over and over again. An unwillingness to change their thinking and perspective would make me wonder about their leadership. I call it out with clear examples and have once walked away from a client who was unwilling to change. If they are unable to walk through their transformation journey, I doubt they can truly lead an organization. - Sandra Pinnington, The WLA (Women Leaders Association)
3. Feeling Overwhelmed
Overwhelm in leaders affects the entire staff’s performance and productivity. I routinely discuss their leadership role and what they need to be doing and what they do not need to be doing. We discuss delegation, energy management and increasing their awareness of how their mindset and behaviors affect others. Ultimately, I help leaders understand the importance of happiness to improve their performance. - Michelle Anne, MichelleAnne.com
4. Using Misplaced Humor
I coached a CEO who wished to improve their impact. Twice, they used misplaced humor, which threw me and was uncomfortable. The third time this happened, I fed back on the impact of this behavior, reflecting that my experience likely paralleled other people’s. This was a turning point for my client, whom I helped develop strategies to manage their social anxiety and build better connections with others. - Mary Gregory, Mary Gregory Ltd
5. Not Owning Up To Mistakes
I’ve had clients who are unwilling to own their part in a challenging or disruptive corporate culture. Individuals who cannot own their mistakes are not fit for leadership. When I see this, I ask my client if I can challenge their beliefs (they usually say “yes”), and then we talk through why they believe a certain “fact” is a hard and fast rule. Shifting the mindset and taking ownership is key. - Vix Reitano, VixReitano.com
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6. Acting Arrogant
I witnessed how an executive client treated the front desk and housekeeping teams at an event. While not blatantly disrespectful, the client acted from a sense of position and title, and the lack of awareness had a real impact. In a conversation with the client, I brought to their attention how their behavior, while not intended, was a form of arrogance that would spill into other areas and needed adjustment. - Lisa Marie Platske, Upside Thinking, Inc.
7. Lacking Respect, Empathy And Listening Skills
Treating people without respect, a lack of empathy and a lack of listening skills are the three killers of every leader. When I discover these issues, I try to focus the leader’s attention on their company culture that allows such behaviors. Eventually, these leaders realize that they are creating this type of culture themselves, so they start to improve and change their behaviors to listen more, respect people and lead with empathy. - Dominik Szot, MIA
8. Being In Denial Of Their Role In A Situation
When a leader refuses to see, acknowledge and/or own their role in a situation, it is always a red flag. Whenever I encounter this, and before rushing to judgment and bias, I probe curiously to better understand why this is a blind spot for them and what they may be afraid to acknowledge in the present moment. Finally, I will seek for them to see what’s possible in owning the issues and taking action. - Joshua Miller, Joshua Miller Executive Coaching
9. Sharing Intimate Company And Personal Details
In an attempt to connect and be open with employees, I’ve witnessed executives overcompensate by sharing intimate financial details about the company and, often, their personal lives, leading to unnecessary stress for employees. To stop this behavior, I’ll set an intention at the top of coaching calls and not continue until everyone, including the executive, has verbally confirmed the agenda. - Michelle Rockwood, Unscripted Sales
10. Avoiding Difficult Conversations
I once encountered a client who spent most of their time avoiding difficult conversations and focusing too much on details. I handled it by helping them build self-awareness around this issue, identifying ways to prioritize bigger-picture thinking and providing strategies for how they can navigate challenging conversations more effectively. - Peter Boolkah, The Transition Guy
11. Being Condescending About Their Team’s Performance
I had an engagement where the executive was very condescending about the performance of the team. This person had a strong personality style that leaned more on process than people-orientation. What we did first was look at the facts. There was data on leadership trust tied to employee performance. We discussed the feedback. The client took the DiSC assessment, and we explored self-awareness techniques and actions. - Denise Russo, Maxwell Leadership
12. Refusing To Collaborate Or Delegate
A leader who refused to collaborate or delegate, as past experience had disappointed them, no longer wanted to “waste” time explaining because they knew the results would not be good enough. I questioned what they really wanted, short- and long-term, and discussed the resources and support they offer, identifying past successful collaborations and exploring how to replicate these experiences. - Krumma Jónsdóttir, Positive Performances
13. Always Being In Crisis Mode
An executive client of mine always seemed to be in crisis mode, with his verbal and body language indicating intense levels of anxiety about even the smallest details. It made me consider how his demeanor impacts his team and cascades through the organization as a result. Through careful exploration and curiosity, we began to peel back the layers of his need for adrenaline. It is a work in progress. - Arthi Rabikrisson, Prerna Advisory
14. Insisting On Only Doing Things Their Way
A director did not allow the leader of her team to suggest other ways of doing things, saying that he should only limit himself to doing what she told him. Not only did she have an authoritarian leadership style, but the leader also did not achieve the commitment of his team, which denoted the lack of key leadership skills. - Paula Vidal Castelli, Paula Vidal Castelli Intl., LLC
15. Ignoring A Direct Report’s Abusive Communication Style
We had an eight-week-long program to create a psychologically safe and motivating culture where the senior leaders learned about inclusive behaviors. During a big, corporate meeting, one of the managers used a rather abusive communication style in front of others, and the CEO did not step in. The behavior was tolerated, and safety was ruined for a while. We discussed the consequences of his inaction. - Csaba Toth, ICQ Global
16. Prioritizing Processes And Procedures Over People
In an executive coaching engagement, I questioned a client’s leadership when they prioritized their interests, processes and procedures over their people. To address this, I guided them toward recognizing the importance of people-centric leadership, emphasizing that a company’s most valuable asset is its workforce. Fostering employee growth, well-being and engagement is essential for leadership. - Farshad Asl, Top Leaders, Inc.
17. Having Unfair Expectations And Blaming Everyone Else
No one could ever do anything well enough. The client’s team, supervisor and entire executive team weren’t doing their job well. We discussed how “when everyone else is the problem, you are often the problem.” We overcame this by discussing where her unfair expectations came from and who she was at her best—because at her best, she was kind and someone people enjoyed being around. - Justin Patton, The Trust Architect Group
18. Commenting On Their Team’s Lack Of Capabilities
One executive I worked with continually commented on his entire executive team’s (lack of) capabilities. From his perspective, he was farther along in the leadership journey and well beyond what they knew or were doing. Since he was the “expert,” I leaned into the conversation and asked questions to unpack his observations and insights. In essence, I guided him toward awareness.- Kristy Busija, Next Conversation Coaching, LLC
