Leading biz development coach for lawyers, entrepreneurs & service providers | Award-winning author & speaker | Paula Black and Associates.
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Justice Kentanji Brown Jackson just made history, becoming the first Black woman to serve as a Supreme Court justice when she was sworn in on June 30.
Justice Jackson is exceptionally qualified and she has led a remarkable, inspirational life. She’s reached the pinnacle of her profession, and she has done it while raising two wonderful children.
I have the privilege of coaching high-achieving professionals as they build lives—not just careers—that they love. Every one of them will tell you that building their businesses and advancing their careers while also finding the time and energy to invest in their families and other important relationships is not easy.
In fact, that’s one of the biggest challenges that many of my new clients want to address when we begin working together: how to find “balance” between their professional life and their family.
That’s why this moment from Judge Jackson’s confirmation hearings hearing caught my attention. She said:
“[I’ve] struggled like so many working moms to juggle motherhood and career. It takes a lot of hard work to become a judge, to do the work of a judge, which I’ve done now for almost ten years. You have a lot of cases. [...] It’s a lot of early mornings and late nights. What that means is that there will be hearings during your daughters’ recitals; there will be emergencies on birthdays that you have to handle. [...] You don’t have to be a perfect mom, but if you do your best and love your children, things will turn out okay.”
I wanted to leap out of my chair and cheer when I heard her say that!
Judge Jackson didn’t sugarcoat it. She didn’t pretend that she found the formula to perfectly “balance” all areas of her life. She was real about the fact that sometimes, you can’t be everywhere you want to be.
The truth is, work-life “balance” is a myth... and pursuing a perfect balance just makes you feel guilty when it doesn’t happen exactly the way you want it to.
Balancing everything in our lives just isn’t possible. That’s not how life works. Sometimes our professional lives demand a lot of our time and energy. There are unexpected emergencies. Sometimes we have to miss time with our kids or our parents or our friends.
That’s why I encourage my clients to forget “balance” and instead work to create harmony in their lives—to create synergy between their careers and the other priorities in their lives. To integrate their passions, their professional careers, and their families—and to recognize that sometimes life gets a bit messy, and you can’t be everywhere you want to be and that’s alright.
Like Judge Jackson says, you don’t have to be perfect! Do your best, and it will work out.
I get a bit misty-eyed when I think about Judge Jackson and her relationship with her daughters. In her confirmation hearing, she spoke straight to them. This is what she said:
“I'm saving a special moment in this introduction for my daughters, Talia and Leila. Girls, I know it has not been easy as I've tried to navigate the challenges of juggling my career and motherhood. And I fully admit that I did not always get the balance right. But I hope that you've seen that with hard work, determination and love, it can be done. I am so looking forward to seeing what each of you chooses to do with your amazing lives in this incredible country. I love you so much."
What a legacy she has created for her daughters. She has shown them—and she has shown all of us—what it looks like to succeed professionally while succeeding as a parent, too. It’s not always perfect, and that’s okay.
You’re not always going to be the perfect mom or dad, the perfect sibling, the perfect son or daughter, the perfect friend. As I've said, Judge Jackson wasn’t perfect, but she still reached the absolute pinnacle in her field and raised two wonderful daughters at the same time.
You’re not going to be perfect either, and that’s alright. Do your best, and it will all turn out okay.
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