Dr. Kimberly Jarvis is CEO of All Career Matters, Inc., bringing over 20 years' experience to leadership and career development coaching.
© Shannon Fagan
In this insanely complicated world, we are all struggling to get ahead. For many, life is a blur of workdays, weekends and a whole lot of stress in between. We feel like we are constantly trying to advance but don’t know exactly how.
I have worked to help thousands of executives advance by asking the core questions that embolden people to make sustainable change. My colleague and coauthor Michelle Anne’s study of neuroscience and Eastern philosophy offers a genuine understanding of what gets in the way of making change. Together, we can take the guesswork out of achieving success in your career.
How do you want to grow and develop as a professional?
There are times in our lives when we’re forced to focus on what’s urgent and important and lose track of what’s important (but not urgent), like our own career development. The last couple of years caused many of us to go into “survival mode,” trying to do what’s best for ourselves and our families and make it through the day. Now is a great time to stop and reflect on your career goals. What skills/experiences do you want to gain? What work-related behavior or habits would you like to change? How do you want to show up as a professional? What relationships will support those experiences? Where and with whom would you like to be working in the next year or two?
When defining what you really want in your career, it’s important to be honest with yourself. Neuroscience research suggests that authenticity is one of the drivers of intrinsic motivation and is critical to goal accomplishment, so make sure your goals really connect with your authentic self.
What is getting in the way of accomplishing your goals?
After thinking more carefully about how you’d like to stretch and grow in the near future, create a concrete goal that you can work toward. For example, your main development goal may be to speak up more in executive-level meetings. If so, you could:
1. Take a fearless inventory, listing five things you are doing or not doing that are working against your goal.
2. Identify your current thought habits about your goal. Typically, people who want to share their perspectives in meetings but don’t are thinking thoughts like, "I’m too inexperienced," "I don’t want to say anything that sounds stupid" or "I don’t belong here."
3. Write down all actions you do or fail to do as a result of your discomfort. The more honest, concrete behaviors you can list, the better. If you’re thinking that you might sound inexperienced, that thought is likely going to keep you from speaking up and is therefore not serving your goal of speaking up in executive-level meetings.
4. Finally, replace your initial goal-sabotaging thought with another thought that is true but serves your goal. Some potential replacement, goal-serving thoughts in this situation include “I have a seat at the table, and I need to take advantage of it,” “My perspective is valuable,” or “I can help others think about connections/impact they may not have identified.”
Because some of our thought patterns are unconscious, it takes some time to identify them and to create new thought habits to replace them. However, it is possible to do this through rewiring in the moment and experiencing an immediate change in both your mental and physical state.
Scientific research supports the ancient Buddhist philosophy that "What we believe, we become." In fact, our perception can influence the chemical makeup of our body, which, in turn, affects the outcome of our goals. Why? Your beliefs drive your thoughts. Your thoughts affect your behaviors. Your behaviors create your reality. So, what is getting in the way of goal achievement?
What are competing beliefs?
Whenever we do not succeed in achieving our goals, we wonder why. You may have competing beliefs that you adopted a long time ago that conflict with the goal you are consciously trying to achieve. For example, someone who struggles to speak up in meetings may have had a traumatic experience at a young age in the classroom or with a parent in which they were ridiculed when they were called on or did something wrong. From that point forward, they may have made a commitment not to look stupid. This might have been a survival instinct that is interfering with voicing an opinion in a meeting.
Lasting change occurs when we finally acknowledge that we have the power over our beliefs and actions and the ability to replace negative thoughts with more positive thoughts that better serve us. Remember, this isn’t a dress rehearsal; it's your life, and we all need to find time and energy to identify our goals, the thought and behavior patterns that are impacting our goals and make changes that support our career trajectory.
This article was coauthored with fellow Forbes Coaches Council member Michelle Anne, a master executive coach.
Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
