CEO beCause Global Consulting connects: individuals & enterprises to core purpose; across silos in organizations; with external stakeholders
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Didn’t Socrates tell it like it is when he said, “The unexamined life is not worth living”? I live, and have always lived, an obsessively examined life. But as with all examination, you never know what you’ll discover that you weren’t even looking for—and you may not even truly understand it.
There's a popular saying: “We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” For better and worse, all of our life experiences shape who we are and are the foundation of our views of the world and our interpretations of others.
A minority of lucky people are blessed largely with "better," but virtually no one escapes some measure of "worse." Indeed, there are those who endure unimaginable horror that either destroys them or, through Herculean effort, they are able to heal from. They can then give themselves and those around them a remarkable dose of "better." I’m a survivor of mind-boggling trauma. But with professional help and personal drive, I’ve succeeded personally and professionally incredibly "better" because of facing and working through it. It’s a journey that never ends, traveling on coarse roads with bumps and potholes. I’ve taken some bad, weird turns, but I’ve also enjoyed long, smooth stretches of inner peace and considerable productive, constructive action.
You don’t have to survive anything major to realize that your perceived imperfections of yourself color your interpretation of the language and behavior of others. In our insecurity, we ask: Am I liked, appreciated, respected? Am I loved? Am I acknowledged, even visible? And ironically, we spend so much time wondering what others think of us that we fail to realize that others are mostly wondering what we think of them. This is true not only in our personal lives but also in our working environment.
When we bring doubts about ourselves and the judgments of others into the workplace, we function from what are largely regarded as the two most basic emotions: love and fear. This can trigger the primal human response of fight or flight. Add to that some ego, ambition and greed, and you have quite a cauldron of stress, stupidity and toxic competition—and a guarantee of corporate dysfunction fueled by ignorance, suspicion, turf protectiveness and an increasing lack of a sense of humor.
The same is true of societies as a whole. Right now, worldwide (in varying ways), we are seeing the consequences of fear of “the other,” fear of the future, a desperate clinging to the concrete familiar present and a wistful nostalgia for the past. It’s how and why we create bubbles around ourselves and “our kind.” It’s why we’re hypersensitive to language, resist cultural change and break off into conflicting alternate realities. In all aspects of life and business, it’s essential to be aware of all the multifaceted motivations that drive us at any given moment.
In dealing with others in the workplace, it is through our words, our actions and our energetic vibes that we can create a shared safe place to reveal our wholeness. We can trust that we will see and understand each other without judgment, whatever we may be experiencing. We can value our complex reality and do each other no harm. In the wise words of the poet/scholar Rumi, “Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there.”
We can also do this in every aspect of our lives. But there’s a catch. A friend recently told me an anecdote about the master cellist Pablo Casals. He had been performing for many years when he was asked why he still practiced several hours a day. Casals answered: “Because I think I am making progress.” For those who want to be their best and contribute the most no matter what they’ve had to slog through, the work of being human never ends.
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