Rachel Madorsky is a psychotherapist and executive coach, as well as the founder & CEO of Love Your Life, LLC.
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“Hustle culture” is a term you’ve likely heard; it refers to the practice of working long and hard to achieve success, no matter the costs to your health and other priorities.
For a lot of us, how busy we are is a reflection of our self-worth. The more overworked we are, the more we feel we are on track to achieve our goals.
But this mentality is dangerous. Overworking can kill us. Beyond the dangers to our physical health, constantly chasing after the next objective and never quite feeling content until we’ve reached the next milestone harms our emotional well-being. When we strive for something, we’re likely to feel like something is missing. We then frantically work to fill that void, rarely, if ever, feeling happy or at ease.
There’s a better way for entrepreneurs to work, and it starts with the action of asking yourself strategic questions about love—yes, love! Those questions include:
• “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself?”
• “What would be the most loving move to make here?”
• “Regarding my work, my schedule and my team, what would I love?”
As an entrepreneur, the more peace and pleasure you can allow yourself to experience in the present moment, the less you will feel the need to compulsively chase what’s next. And in turn, you will likely get where you want to go faster because you’ll be enjoying yourself on the way and be able to be more productive.
In the decades of helping entrepreneurs and executives craft lives they love, I've identified three of the most impactful steps for shifting from overworked to energized.
1. Remember That Your Business Serves You, Not The Other Way Around
Entrepreneurs usually start their businesses to live life on their own terms. After all, entrepreneurship provides a level of freedom, schedule flexibility and creative self-expression that many traditional corporate roles don’t.
Too often, I’ve seen entrepreneurs trade all of those benefits to make more money or attain other forms of success. These are worthy goals. In fact, every desire you have is valid and worth pursuing. The problem lies in trading your freedom, schedule flexibility and creative self-expression to achieve them.
Instead, design your business around your lifestyle by deciding your schedule first. Consider what your ideal schedule would look like if your business were already hitting your financial targets. How many days a week would you want to work? Would you like to take certain morning or afternoon hours off? Think about those answers and then create a schedule that enables you to live that lifestyle now. For instance, adopt a four-day workweek if you prefer spending Fridays at the park with your kids. Start working at noon each day if you want to take an art class that meets Wednesday mornings.
There is no need to sacrifice your current fulfillment in order to succeed later. It is a myth that you must forego your present-day happiness for the future. Instead, practice mindfulness in the here and now. When you build a business you love, around a schedule you love, you can spend time not only working in your business but also on your business, while you continue to create a life that matches your vision.
2. Recognize That It’s Okay To Put Yourself First—It Might Be The One Move That Changes Everything
People often equate the concept of putting yourself first with selfishness, but in reality, putting yourself first is not selfish. It’s responsible. When we serve others from a place of feeling fulfilled, the quality of care we are able to provide is far greater, more authentic and more effective.
I like to employ the philosophy: allow everything and accommodate very little. In other words, we can create space for everyone in our lives to ask for everything they want and still put ourselves and our desires first in line. The more we say “yes” to ourselves, the more we can practice healthy generosity toward others.
You can start putting yourself first by taking small steps, such as saying “no” to the top three things in your life that are draining your energy and replacing the word “should” in your vocabulary with “could.” It’s not that you should do certain things, like making that phone call or driving across town; it’s that you could do them. You decide what’s truly worth your time and what is not. You will become more impactful by focusing on the things that energize you the most.
3. Work On Yourself—Specifically, On Your Mindset
One mistake I see with entrepreneurs is their willingness to work tirelessly on their businesses and avoid working on themselves. In reality, our mindset is the most valuable resource we have. Our thinking dictates our actions, decisions and communication. Therefore, the more we practice having a mindset that matches the peace and success we desire, the more likely we are to achieve it—and like who we become along the way. Mindset practice can include taking walks while you imagine new ideas, visualizing yourself reaching your goals, meditating every morning to rest your mind, starting a gratitude journal to keep sight of the blessings in your life, etc.
Our mindset can alter the course of our lives. There’s a reason why Olympic athletes visualize themselves winning, not losing. In his pivotal book, Psycho-Cybernetics, the late plastic surgeon turned self-help author Maxwell Maltz explained that a person’s self-image sets the stage for their personality, behavior and life circumstances. For example, he explains that a student who sees himself as bad at math will end up getting a poor score on his report card. Similarly, if you decide that you must work 60 hours a week to make your business profitable or that you won’t be able to reach your financial goals no matter how hard you work, chances are, that’s what the world will reflect back to you.
Attend to your mindset, which is a fancy way of saying work on your thinking. Remove negative beliefs you’re holding about yourself and any assumptions you have about money, working hard and any other thought that limits you. Replace them with positive ideas, beliefs, desires and possibilities.
Of course, positive beliefs and optimism may not prevent every challenging situation from happening. But with a more positive, optimistic mindset and a willingness to grow, you’ll be better prepared to handle those tough circumstances by exercising self-compassion, taking care of yourself and looking for new opportunities to continue advancing your business, your career, your freedom and your dreams.
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