Kathy Sarafian is a triple-certified executive coach and a member of the Young President Organization.
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Whether we like it or not, our society, our friends, our social media and the messages we receive affect how we think of ourselves. These mediums of communication can especially fuel hyperachievers who are hardwired to create success in life through achieving observable success, i.e., tangible possessions like a big wallet, a big house, a big car and a big life. They get attached to achieving the next milestone only to find that it is short-lived or not enough, and they will only feel fulfilled once they get to the next level of achievement. This never-ending cycle can come at a great cost.
If you are reading this article, there is a good chance you have hyperachiever tendencies. Let’s examine what this means and find a way to shift the hyperachieving attributes toward something beyond material possessions, status and a “someday happy” lifestyle. Let’s see if there is a more fulfilling way of existing that just might provide more meaning, lasting joy and wholistic success while continuing to allow you to aspire to live a bigger life.
As a hyperachiever who reached the position of president in my mid-30s and CEO shortly after, I was one of those people who believed my success, identity and self-worth were validated by these external measures. I believed that I was on a path to success and happiness. When I realized the external things wouldn’t bring me lasting joy and something internally was missing, I struggled to adopt a different mindset without a support system or societal validation. It was tough not following the herd mentality.
Sadly, I wasn’t alone in this feeling. I was surrounded by others who were secretly experiencing the same thing; I just didn’t realize it at the time. It wasn’t until I became a coach working with presidents, CEOs and other C-suite leaders that I realized how pervasive it was for these extremely successful people to feel like something was lacking in their lives.
As I spent time thinking about success, the question became how can we leverage the positive traits of being a hyperachiever to create a more meaningful and more fulfilling existence? That’s when I decided to redefine what being a hyperachiever is all about. I did this to avoid the high costs that could manifest themselves in three specific areas: wellness (handling stress, anxiety and sleeping habits), productivity (taking time for reflection, analysis and investing in your mind) and healthy relationships (understanding your coworkers and, even more importantly, your kids).
Let’s now imagine what life would be like if hyperachievers were to redirect their energy to achieve positive changes within and enhance positive external results. With this in mind, here are five tips to consider to help you reach your highest level of potential and find lasting fulfillment:
1. Become a hyperachiever in taking regular breaks. This keeps mental pollution down and resets the mind’s software, so to speak. I suggest taking two- to three-minute deep-breathing breaks four times a day. This simple action can reduce your stress level and allow you to think with improved clarity. Longer two-hour breaks once a week can also allow time for deeper critical thinking.
2. Become a hyperachiever in mastering your thoughts. Creating space between you and your thoughts is a game changer. When there is space, you get to choose versus being led by your unexamined thoughts that don’t serve you. Labeling or shedding light on these thoughts (For example, "I am not good enough.") will put you in a position to choose positive ones ("I can learn from mistakes; I am capable and can always get better.").
3. Become a hyperachiever in aligning your actions with the “greater good” versus your ego. The more you serve a greater purpose, the more you gain respect, trust and influence to produce results. Take an audit of how often your actions are aligned to lift your team toward a meaningful purpose.
4. Become a hyperachiever in investing in your mindset. Most CEOs I know are in great physical health, but overlook their mindset because it's not a tangible accomplishment. Examining your mindset can provide valuable insight into your daily habits and help you to identify blind spots.
5. Become a hyperachiever in creating meaningful relationships. Try not to play the game of keeping score, hurting when hurt and putting people down when offended. Our quality of life is a function of the quality of the people we surround ourselves with and the quality of conversations we have. It is a skill worth mastering!
Many of these practices are simple but not easy. When followed, they can help you to learn to optimize your time and energy, gain self-awareness and self-control, as well as get more from your relationships while tapping into your inner personal power.
Ironically, when we focus on growing our inner thinking and inner capacity, we can achieve much more on the external scoreboard. It becomes the side effect and not the focus. It becomes a commitment not an attachment. I call this true success without the cost. Why not have it all?
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