Founder & Chairman at The Trium Group; C-Suite coach & management consulting pioneer at the intersection of strategy, leadership & culture.
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As an executive coach these days, I am working with many CEOs who are starting to notice a sense of fear and overwhelm overtaking themselves and the teams they lead. There is no question that the news is scary—there are shadows on the horizon, political challenges and global economic instability. All of these things, on top of the day-to-day challenges, create a vortex that can pull people into states that can manifest as depression, fear, anger, resistance and a general sense of "Oh my god, I don't know if I can do this."
In coaching leaders through these dynamics, whether it be for themselves or for their teams, I'd like to offer three distinct angles of mindset orientation that one can have to better cope.
The Responsible Or "Suck It Up" Angle
The questions I ask some executives who are amenable to a tougher approach are: Did you not expect this? Did you not expect that the economy would slow down at some point? Did you not expect that being a CEO would be full of difficult choices and challenges? This is, in fact, the kind of moment you've trained for, and therefore, haven't you been expecting this for many years? In essence, where is the problem other than reality being what it is? Deal with it like a responsible adult who's made choices with agency.
For some people, this angle is a wake-up call, while for others, it's even further diminishing. Be sure to use this tactic sparingly.
The Acceptance Angle
This is a softer angle that's easier to hear. From this angle, you simply "notice and allow" the feelings of overwhelm and give those feelings permission to exist—I notice I'm feeling fear and I allow myself to feel fear. I notice I'm feeling anxious and I allow myself to feel anxious. I notice I'm having pictures of a future in which my company is failing and I allow those images to arise.
The target here is to create room for movement. It is often said that the more we resist something, the more it persists. This is an approach to creating a bit more softness around those emotions so they can come and go, which they always do.
The Gratitude Angle
When we are negative or have activated mindsets, we tend to overemphasize those things that are going wrong and underemphasize what's going right. The gratitude angle is to have dialogue around the things that are working, starting with: Are we in this conversation? Do you have your arms and legs? Is your family safe and healthy, and do you have food in your mouth? Then move to all the things that are going right. Even with a business having a very hard time, many things are going right. You have a great team. You have a great product. You have a few great customers. You have some new prospects on the horizon, it might just take a bit longer to get there.
This angle brings more balance to the situation because there is always something to be grateful for. By noticing that, feelings of overwhelm often dissipate.
This mindset orientation is less about psychology than it is about leadership because these are narratives that leaders can share with their organizations. Leaders can take a hard line, a soft line or a graceful line. Perhaps the best narrative has all three of these elements because everything I've said is true. One of my favorite quotes from my teacher Byron Katie is that "reality is never the problem. It is simply what we're thinking and believing about reality that's the problem."
Reality doesn't change, but what we think and believe about reality does. As leaders, we in many ways shape what people think and believe about reality.
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