Leaders need to possess the technical skills required to fill a managerial position, but they don’t always have the interpersonal or soft skills necessary to carry out the role successfully. While some managers are aware of their bad habits and behaviors, others may be unintentionally and inadvertently alienating their colleagues.
If an executive hears about or witnesses problematic interactions between a manager and their team members or peers, it’s up to the senior leader to help the manager identify toxic behavior and see if there is a way to correct it. Here, members of Forbes Coaches Council discuss how executives can approach a problematic manager, get them to see and admit to the bad behavior, then help them change their ways.
Forbes Coaches Council members share how executives can help problematic managers change their ways.
Photos courtesy of the individual members.1. Align The Different Perspectives
It is important to take a two-prong approach to supporting behavior change. One focuses on what is happening on the ground from a managerial and operational perspective, and the other focuses on what is happening with the individual that is causing the behavior. When these approaches are combined they can result in long-term behavior change. - Shamila Mhearban, Shamila M. Ltd
2. Ask For Their Permission To Share Feedback
Whenever I am challenging someone’s poor behavior, I want to get them to invite me in to share feedback with them that is constructive. I say, “I have an observation. I might be right; I might not be—but would you mind if I share it with you?” They typically say, “Sure.” Now, I have the ability to be very direct and transparent with what I’ve observed in their poor performance. Speak the truth with love. - Dave Resseguie, The Resseguie Group
3. Establish Trust And Candor
People are never bad; it is the system that needs to be improved. The job of the leader is to focus on improving the system within which people operate. A system must be managed; if left unattended, individual components can become selfish. Establishing vulnerability-based trust and demonstrating radical candor can be helpful in such situations—care personally and challenge directly. - Nagesh Sharma, Flowsphere India Private Limited
4. Have A Respectful One-On-One
Keep in mind that people often don’t understand that their behavior is toxic. Have a one-on-one with the manager and, in a respectful way, provide examples of toxic behavior and types of dysfunction in teams or any other model. Ask the manager, “Can you see yourself somewhere in the model?” If they do, ask why, and ask what they would like to change. If not, address the problem. Create a coaching plan together. - Aina Alive, Bee Agile
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5. Influence How They Think About The Situation
It’s important to have a clear plan of action. You should identify the toxic behavior and understand where it is coming from. Every behavior is just a reaction to one’s thoughts. By influencing the way a person thinks about the situation, you can alter their reaction to it. - Mikhail Saidov, Coaching Solutions
6. Present Specific Evidence
The best way I’ve found is by presenting specific evidence. The evidence needs to include emotional impact, such as: “When you closed me down in X meeting, I felt completely disrespected.” Managers can never dispute how another feels. By repeatedly sharing evidence in this way, there is a far greater likelihood the manager will choose to take responsibility for changing their behavior. - Sandra Pinnington, The WLA (Women Leaders Association)
7. Raise Their Awareness
It is a matter of raising awareness so that the problematic manager can see their bad behavior. Changes in toxic behavior have to come from a desire to change on the part of the manager. Often, they see their problematic behavior as a means to an end so that they can reach productivity goals. A great boss is prepared to show them a path to productivity through better behavior. - Jakob Franzen, The Modern Coaching Company
8. Clarify Their Goals And Behavioral Criteria
Clarify the manager’s career growth goals and criteria of behavior for a successful leader related to their impact on others. Add missing criteria by discussing the consequences of missing behaviors. Once the criteria are clear, ask the manager to self-assess. If their scores are inflated, conduct a 360-degree assessment as a reality check. Link the 360 feedback with their career goals. - Mark Samuel, IMPAQ Corporation
9. Have An Open Conversation
Ensure that you have a clear understanding of the problem. Do this by having an open conversation with the manager to see if there may be something they’re struggling with. As their leader, this can be an opportunity for you to create a stronger bond with your managers. Team members feeling understood by their leader can be a big catalyst for bringing everyone together. - Giorgio Genaus, Genius Institute PTY LTD
10. Stress The Standard Of Respectful Behavior Required
Start by stressing the standard of respectful behavior required of all managers. Then provide the manager with direct behavioral feedback, with examples that require a specific improvement plan. If the manager lacks awareness and empathy regarding their impact, reverse the situation. Ask them how they would like it if they were treated in the same toxic manner. Follow up consistently to ensure they are improving. - Ron N Hurst, Developing Leaders
11. Have A ‘Fierce’ Conversation
The first thing to do is quickly address the issue. You must not appear to tolerate toxic behavior. The best approach I’ve found is having a “fierce” conversation, which involves addressing how you feel about the manager’s behavior and your concerns about the consequences to the organization if it were to continue. This generally diffuses the defensiveness and focuses on voluntary solutions. - Philip Liebman, ALPS Leadership
12. Praise What They Are Doing Correctly
When providing criticism—assuming it’s an employee you want to keep—it’s important to use the sandwich method. Start with praise for what they are doing correctly. This helps them let their guard down and open up to be more receptive to your message. Keep your emotions out of the conversation and show them how their behavior is not only affecting others but themselves as well. - Marc Zalmanoff, Marc Zalmanoff LLC
13. Share Your Intent To Help Them Succeed
Start by sharing your intent to help them be successful and how, in that context, you have noticed behavior that is getting in their way. Keep it simple and factual and, most importantly, share at least four or five impacts of the derailing behavior so that it feels less like an opinion. Then point out their choices: Ignore the feedback and continue to have the same impact, or take a small step in the right direction. - Neena Newberry, Newberry Solutions
