Dr. Jeff J. Rocker, Celebrity Therapist, Rocker Management.
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If you’ve ever dropped your child off at school and thought, “Will this be the last day I see them?” you already know what research has confirmed: Anxiety around mass shootings plagues American parents. In a Pew Research study, over two-thirds of U.S. parents reported being somewhat to extremely worried that a shooting would happen at their child’s school. With almost 50 mass shootings occurring so far in 2023, as of this writing, it’s no wonder you may be worrying about this tragic possibility.
As a parent, it’s up to you to keep your children safe. But in a world that feels increasingly unsafe, it’s normal to experience a wide range of negative emotions about your children’s safety, including anxiety, worry and intrusive thoughts that can affect your performance at work.
In my discussions with working parents, the subject of mass shooting anxiety comes up on an almost daily basis. If you find yourself sitting at your desk, worrying about how safe your children are at school, here are some tips to help you calm your anxious mind and focus on your professional obligations.
You May Be Experiencing Vicarious Trauma
The onslaught of mass shootings in the U.S. has led to a nationwide phenomenon of secondary trauma, also known as vicarious trauma. When we see the trauma of others, especially consistently and over a long period of time, our brains can translate that trauma into feeling like it’s our own. We see our own families reflected in the faces in news stories, and it is understandably terrifying.
The anxiety of worrying if you’ll get the phone call no parent wants to receive is a problem I see continuously in my practice. Parents of all ages, races and backgrounds are experiencing secondary trauma from the news of mass shootings. Symptoms of secondary trauma I see in my working parent patients often include anxiety, racing thoughts and difficulty concentrating.
Calming Your Anxious Mind Today
When your thoughts and worries race out of control at work, it can be hard to focus on your professional responsibilities. These are things I recommend to my clients to help them calm the thoughts of “what if” and stay productive.
- Focus on the present. Rational thought can go right out the window when we start thinking about the future because the future only exists in our imaginations, which can be quite creative in a distressing, fearful way. When you find yourself struggling with racing thoughts at work, focus on the present. Dive into your day’s professional tasks, go chat with a coworker or even take a five-minute break for one of the steps I’ll list below.
- Maintain communication with your children. Every kid has a cell phone these days. Check in with your children throughout the day when they are at school and you’re at work. They may give you some eye rolls, but it can help calm your nerves so you can get back to your professional tasks.
- Do deep breathing exercises. It may sound silly, but there is science behind how deep breathing causes physiological changes in the body that help us relax. If you’re having an anxious moment while at the office, try one of the deep breathing exercises listed here. You can do this right at your desk, or if you would prefer, take a short break outside and treat yourself to some fresh air, too.
- Meditate. Did you know that meditation can be just as effective at combating anxiety as medication? You can meditate anywhere, anytime, even at your desk. Meditation is about clearing your mind of thoughts so it can relax. If you’d like more tips on how to meditate, check out what the Mayo Clinic has to say about meditation here.
Once You’re Calm, Empower Yourself With Action
Calming your anxiety around mass shootings is a good first step. Want to take it a step further? Nothing beats anxiety like action. When I’m working with clients who are struggling at work because they can’t stop worrying about their children’s safety at school, I always encourage them to take action. Working toward keeping yourself and your children safer will help you feel empowered instead of hopeless, and it can move the needle toward real positive change, too.
- Learn what to do in an active shooter situation. Feeling prepared is a great way to lessen anxiety in any situation. Here’s what FEMA suggests you do if you find yourself in an active shooter scenario at work, out in public or even at your child’s school.
- Teach your kids what to do if there’s an active shooter. No parent wants to have this conversation, but it’s become necessary in today’s world. Here are some things you can teach your kids to do in an active shooter situation to keep themselves safer, as well as tips for how they can spot danger before it happens.
- Advocate for better procedures. Better security, processes and policies can go a long way toward keeping our communities safe. Talk to your school district and local leaders to ensure that there are safety measures in place to prevent and address mass shootings. Discuss these measures with your employer, too. Workplace shootings are unfortunately becoming more common, and if you want to keep your children safe, that means keeping yourself safe, too.
You Can Only Control Yourself
No matter how much we wish we could create a safer world for ourselves and our children, there is only so much control we have over external circumstances. What we do have, though, is the ability to influence our own thoughts and actions. Next time you find yourself ruminating over the threat of mass shootings while at work, use these steps to bring your mind back to a calmer state. Then take action to help make that dream of a safer world a reality.
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