Founder of the PowerUP approach, Marita fuels confidence and contribution for personal impact. See more @ FutureCourse.
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Too often we unconsciously fuel an underlying assumption that work and wellness are an either/or situation. Historically, corporate culture may have reinforced this notion, but current shifts in work practices are debunking this old mindset, and helping us all—individuals, peer groups, managers and leaders—build careers that also make us better, happier people. It starts with confidence.
Often we worry that we need to do it all, or we can’t say no. Truthfully, your boss wants your best work and that requires you to manage your personal wellness. While workloads can be overwhelming, bosses don’t want to crush their employees. Communicating about pressure and managing boundaries is key for successful outcomes and mutual sustainability. Be confident in creating work boundaries to foster your best self.
In their book, The Confidence Code, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman argue that confidence is the reaction of action. Doubting the possibility of the outcome is a huge derailer to confidence, whereas picturing a successful outcome puts you on track. Taking a first step, however small, helps the possibility become reality and fuels the sense of confidence. Continued action strengthens the confidence muscle and can lead to better results over time.
When overwork saps resilience, many of us lose the perspective that good things are possible and avoid taking action. We inadvertently submit to the hamster wheel of just trying to get stuff done. Sometimes we add unproductive overthinking to the situation, creating a cycle of draining work and negative dwelling. Thus, we find ourselves in a pattern that is the antithesis of confidence building; our routine is working against us.
Build your confidence through reframing and small actions. Here are a few ideas to increase your confidence to manage up:
Think of alternatives. The goal is to achieve both your goals and the work at hand, then picture those alternatives actually happening.
Control what you can. Find one small thing within your control that you can do to achieve a better balance, such as going off camera to take a call while on a walk, scheduling your day with one or two small breaks, etc.
Make a small ask. Ask to modify a small, low-risk task to test the dynamics of managing boundaries.
Remember, action builds confidence, so taking the first step may be the most important part of your strategy.
Next, employ some realistic tactics for managing up. Great work dynamics build from partnerships to optimize personal contribution and meet organizational goals. Your relationship with work, via your boss, should be symbiotic and that might take a mindset shift. Consider reframing one-way delegation to two-way problem-solving. In other words, don’t just add more tasks to your to-do list. Pause and consider how you can accomplish what is needed and sustain your wellness in the process. Creatively problem-solve to achieve both outcomes.
Here are some ideas:
Switch from order taker to problem solver. Seek to be a partner in work, not just a conduit for work.
Create two-way work planning conversations with your boss. Explore options frequently so that it becomes comfortable. Practice exploring an alternate viewpoint on small issues, so that you are more prepared for big issues. Don’t wait until you need it, make work planning conversations routine in your relationship.
Build trust through consistent connection. Stay on your manager's radar and share what’s going on (good, bad, ugly—be in it together). Stronger relationships go beyond work tasks creating space for personal interdependency.
Clarify what is realistic. Be objective, quantitative and practical. As individual contributors or managers, the person closest to the work has the most realistic view of the effort required. Don’t assume that your leader knows the details. Take the initiative to clearly communicate reality, ramifications and risks to your leader.
Align priorities and provide options. If necessary, push back with reasonable alternatives. A few example phrases and questions include:
- "It’s never impossible, but we might need a new approach."
- "My team is already at 80% capacity. Is this urgent now?"
- "This request will take about X hours. Is this our priority now?"
- "What can we shift to make space for this?"
- "Let’s analyze the time on task and solve for options."
- "If we push the team this time, how can we rebuild their stamina?"
- "Let me remind you of the pressure on the team so far this year..."
You want to frame considerations with a view of the impact on other goals, projects, etc. It's also important to provide a retrospective. After a particularly difficult work task, provide a retrospective to build an understanding of the time commitment and challenges in the situation. Use the post-work analysis as a guidepost for future assignments.
There is no one right way to manage up; it may take several tries to unlock what works in your situation. Success comes from adapting your approach to optimize your connection with your boss. How does your boss like to be approached? What do they value? How can you stay away from their personal triggers? How can you align in support of your boss while managing the boundaries you need for wellness? Think symbiotically. There is a way to create a win-win strategy at work.
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