Dave Conway, Sales and Mindset Coach, Founder at Conway Consulting.
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What does it take to be a successful leader? With such a broad question and so many factors and perceptions that go into the idea of success, immediately, you might think that a successful leader is someone who inspires and motivates others, but it is much more than that.
The non-negotiable for experiencing "wins" in leadership today and in the future means taking responsibility for your continued growth and fully knowing what you are responsible for, and that includes the following:
• Your thinking
• Your attitude
• Your results
• Your performance
• Your income
• Your health
• Your relationships
• Your self-worth
It means showing up as your best every day and pushing yourself to be better than yesterday for personal and professional growth. However, with that said, you must be aware that when you take responsibility as a leader, you can cross that invisible line and start taking responsibility for others’ results.
When I worked with author Bob Proctor on his coaching and sales team, I was responsible for the enrollment and coaching of his elite clients. At one point, I found myself struggling with the idea of how some clients were thriving while others appeared not to be growing at all.
What was my solution to this situation? Work harder. Try harder to help them. This appears to be impressive and noble. I was trying to force and manipulate their results so I could feel better.
When I shared this with Bob, he told me to relax and understand that we are responsible to them but are not responsible for them.
The Law of Responsibility states that you are responsible for yourself and others. It helps us understand the boundaries of what you are to be concerned about and how. One of the foundations of relationships is assisting another person. The lines must be clear, whether you are empowering them to do what they should be doing or doing something else.
You are responsible for improving ourselves every day using the list above. What are the clients responsible for if I am responsible for that list? The same as me:
• Their thinking
• Their attitude
• Their results
• Their performance
• Their income
• Their health
• Their relationships
• Their self-worth
• Showing up every day at their best
• Pushing themselves every day to be better than yesterday
• Their personal and professional growth
• And much more
If you find yourself assuming responsibility for other people's results, ask yourself these questions:
• Am I improving?
• Am I relaxed?
• Am I giving my best today?
If you can answer yes to those questions, repeat this line a few times: "I am responsible to you, but not for you."
You see, the attitude you hold toward yourself is what inspires others! And improving yourself will inspire others to improve. So your job is to encourage, empower, give resources and do other things that help others fulfill their responsibilities.
For example, what emotional strategies can you implement to change your emotional state to a positive one if someone makes you angry or upset? This is important because it doesn’t just affect how you feel in the given moment; if you let it, it can affect you and everyone else you come in contact with throughout your day.
You are responsible for the energy you bring to every interaction. The people you see and talk with the rest of your day don’t know about any previous unkind or angry communication. Frankly, they probably do not care; they only care about how you treat them at that moment.
It is your responsibility to do a self-check-in and avoid projecting onto the following people you meet. Remember, your emotional state is transmittable whether you are happy or sad, wear a smile or a frown.
Being mentally resilient takes practice, especially if you are prone to be negative or reactive or have bad habits of complaining or gossiping, all of which are sinister to handling mental stress or developing good habits and resiliency.
Take responsibility for controlling your reactions and your attitude. How do you change your emotional state? Change your physical condition by meditating, being around people who lift you up and exercising regularly.
Get out of your way and determine that you will not play the victim; each day can be your best day. Take responsibility for your thinking; your life will never be the same. That is all you can control.
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