My burnout story starts with a visit to my primary care provider. Armed with my WebMD search of symptoms, I was sure I had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. I was 40-ish years old, losing my memory, experiencing changes in mood, incapable of finishing tasks at work, starting to withdraw from social situations — every one of my symptoms matched up with that diagnosis. When I found out I didn’t have dementia or anything close to it, I was relieved and a bit perplexed. What my doctor prescribed changed my life forever: She told me to stop working so hard.
At the time, I was at my dream job, and my identity was so tied up in my career that my internal compass pointed in only one direction: work. I was clocking in more than 100 hours per week, subsisting on take-out food and caffeine, and being rewarded with promotions and raises for my work ethic and ability to get things done. I knew if I could just get to the next level, through the next crisis, deliver this budget, then things would calm down. Work had become my addiction. I was addicted to the excitement and pace, to being busy and to being needed. I got a high when I made the impossible happen, but the fix was short-lived, and soon, I was in search of the next mountain to move.
As the stages of burnout started to kick in, shutting down my mind, body and soul, I realized I was losing the very essence of me. When the excessive stress, chronic exhaustion, insomnia and aforementioned memory issues became too pronounced to ignore, I finally quit my high-profile job in luxury hospitality. I was left with a personal paradox; if I wasn’t my work, who was I?
I soon found out I wasn’t alone. Highly engaged and passionate leaders can often throw themselves into their work, getting caught in an endless cycle of exhaustion and analysis paralysis that can grow from perfectionism. People who have "high achievers" DNA tend to not ask for help, viewing "not knowing" or "not able to do everything" as equivalent to weakness or lack of leadership. I wore my burnout like a badge of honor, doing more, working more, being more, until I just couldn’t function. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
My story is not exceptional; in fact, it is very typical in what I now see every day in corporate burnout. The biggest problem? Those most at risk are also those most in denial. So ask yourself, do you see you in my story?
While burnout isn’t experienced by all leaders in all careers, the corporate culture of overwork is truly part of the American way. We are a nation of overachievers, ranked No. 7 internationally of most hours worked annually. But long-term overwork is not sustainable, and ignoring the health risks of overwork threatens the very companies that encourage executives to work hard.
Promoting high achievers, without encouragement to turn off after hours or take vacations, fuels burnout syndrome and can have severe, unintended, adverse results. Burned out leaders create toxic work environments that can lead to colleague dissatisfaction in the office, lower output rates, high turnover and, even more extreme, depression or suicide. This year, burnout became an official WHO syndrome because it’s rampant in the current corporate environment. In today’s world, work is a lot harder to turn off. It’s in our handhelds, on our computer, in our home; it’s impossible to leave the office when the office is anywhere your phone is.
That’s the bad news. The good news is burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Companies and leaders often talk about "work-life balance," but I think that’s impossible. Instead, look at your being as a work-life blend, where some days your work life has more time and energy and other days, your personal life and self-care take priority.
Below are three little changes you can make today to help you start building stress resilience, making you a healthier human while mitigating burnout syndrome.
1. Know what your personal triggers are on an average day. When those difficult situations arise, have a toolbox of “go-to” tricks that help you pause, recalibrate and reframe your mindset. This will give your brain time to shift yourself forward and decompress in the moment. Ideas for your toolbox: box breathing, laughing, listening to uplifting music, a brisk walk, a phone call to a friend.
2. Define your personal values and align your personal/professional goals with those values. This will help create a "clarity filter" you can run your tasks through, allowing you to use your values as the anchor when prioritizing tasks for your day. This will also help you say no to tasks that don’t fit in your personal values, thus freeing up your time over the long-term.
3. Foster a sense of compassionate curiosity about yourself and others. This includes asking questions of co-workers and yourself, getting fit, discovering your own healthy self-soothing techniques, or learning to meditate. For you perfectionists reading this, there are bonus points to doing all four.
I like to think of stress resilience in the context of flying: You’re instructed to put on your own oxygen mask first in order to help others around you. Mastery starts with you, through self-awareness, self-growth and self- care. Then the rest of your life will fall into place. Even reading this article to the end is helping you pause and reflect on your own work-life blend. You now have a path towards better health/life/work. You can put on your oxygen mask, inhale the fresh air and start manifesting a burnout-proof life, creating self-mastery towards a healthy and profitable tomorrow.
