When you’re just starting out in the profession, beginning a career in coaching can be exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Whether it’s dealing with imposter syndrome, feeling anxious about a difficult client situation or figuring out the best way to follow up after an engagement ends, it’s common for new coaches to wonder where their blind spots might be.
Thankfully, there are effective ways to overcome these doubts, and there’s no one better to learn them from than other successful coaches. The members of Forbes Coaches Council were all new to their positions at one point in time, and many of them have faced these same issues. Here, 14 members share insights they wished they had known when they were just starting out and explain how they leverage this knowledge in their practices today.
Members pictured from left to right.
Photos courtesy of the individual members.1. Coaches Must Transform Themselves First
As a coach with 33 years of lived experience, I’d say be authentic in all your conversations. Have the awareness to know who your “right” clients are, and be courageous in all your coaching matters. Courage begets courage, and to distinctively impact people’s lives you must be willing to disrupt their non-serving patterns. To be truly effective, you must transform yourself first, before your client. - Jon Michail, Image Group International
2. The Application Of Skills Is The Ultimate Success Metric
When I began coaching nearly 20 years ago, I thought that convincing the coachee of the method or approach was the best possible outcome. I’ve since realized that the application of skills is the ultimate measure of coaching success. It doesn’t matter whether the client agrees with me; what matters is that they apply the new methods and strategies we discuss because that will reinforce their new behavior. - Shawn Casemore, Casemore and Co. Inc.
3. You Don’t Need To Cultivate An Image For Others
“You don’t need to cultivate an image that you think others want to see of you” is what I wish I had known at the beginning of my coaching career, because absolutely everything I work on with my clients revolves around that mental process. The only “best self” you can be is yourself, not the self you think others want to see. Especially when the stakes are crazy high, being yourself is your best way to be your own hero. - Mark Antoine, Inspired Keynotes
Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
4. Coaches Teach How To ‘Be Good,’ Not How To ‘Do Good’
Coaching is mostly about teaching someone how to “be good” rather than “do good,” which is consulting. My initial challenge was distinguishing these two categories. However, I have transformed into a coach who can “be good” and maintain a constant mindful state. The clarity cultivated within this state allows me to make effective decisions in my own life and enables me to lead others with confidence. - Gamini Hewawasam, ManoLead NFP
5. Engagements Should Be Ended In Incremental Steps
Once a client decided that they were finished with my coaching, I would leave them to it. This led to some of them quickly returning to bad habits, as soon as they hit a tough period. I now ensure that I move my clients from regular sessions to quarterly calls, and then, once their new habits are embedded, I encourage them to go it alone. - Chris Averill, Northford Capital
6. Coaching Involves Forming Strong Connections
The biggest surprise about coaching—one that I didn’t realize would make such an impact—is how much I love my clients. I thought I’d help them here and there, but I never thought I’d form such strong connections. Because I know this, my “sales calls” are opportunities for us to both ask and answer the question, “Are we meant to work together?” If yes, great. If not, great. It’s all good. - Cara Heilmann, International Association of Career Coaches
7. You Must Be Present, Patient And Vulnerable To Engage
Don’t follow other people, books, formulas, models and/or theories. When I started, I didn’t know what I didn’t know—and I didn’t know it. Fast-forward 20-plus years, and I know that clear, stellar coaching has little to do with a textbook and everything to do with presence. Fancy modeling helps, but it can also hinder coaching. Be present, patient and vulnerable, and listen. Then, and only then, can you engage powerfully. - Joshua Miller, Joshua Miller Executive Coaching
8. Leaning Into Your Intuition Can Build Confidence
For starters, I wish I had been more comfortable using my intuition and not just relying on what I had learned in books or training courses. Another thing that would have been helpful to me is being more open with my clients and showing that I was listening to what they were saying in a way that made sense to them. These days, I feel much more comfortable and confident in my coaching skills. - Peter Boolkah, The Transition Guy
9. Change Requires Motivation And Willingness
I wish I had realized earlier in my coaching practice that a person must be motivated and willing to make a change. Have you ever tried to help a person who did not want help? I’ve learned from experience that it’s critical to find out if a person is motivated to make a change. If not, walk away until they are ready so that you can focus on the people who are ready to do the difficult work of change. - Cindy Lamir, Impact Business Coaches
10. Coaching Is Not About You
Coaching is not about you or your view of results for clients. Yes, you can study, gain expertise, share insights and learn a broad range of tools and techniques. Ultimately, however, it’s about the needs of the coachee—their needs, their timeline and their unique journey. Go where the coachee is and travel along. Hold the space to explore where they ultimately want to go in their career and leadership, but on their terms. - Jodie Charlop, Exceleration Partners
11. Letting Go Of Judgment Is Easier Said Than Done
One of the core pillars of the coaching mindset is to be nonjudgmental, which is easier to say than to put into practice. We all tend to judge because of our biases and limiting beliefs. Today, I use positive psychology practices to replace judgment with positivity. It is a very good and effective method. - Kalina Terzieva, My Coaching Brain
12. Everyone Walks Their Own Journey To Success
“If I can do it, anyone can!” I used to focus on getting people to take the same steps I took to reach their own success. I would be “in your face” about solving problems, which I later found set high expectations, discouraged people and was intimidating. I had to learn to become more of a guide to allow my client to be the hero and to walk their journey to solve their issues at their pace. - Curtis L Jenkins, Jenkins & Associates
13. Leaders Want You To Ask The Hard Question
Coaches with experience know the value of asking the hard question that others are afraid to ask. The hard question is what most leaders are asking themselves, and they desire for someone to ask them the question so that, together, they can find the answer. As a coach, when you think about a question and whether it should be asked, don’t be afraid to ask that question. - Ken Gosnell, CEO Experience
14. Defining Your Niche Is A Win-Win
Looking back on the past 14 years, I wish I had understood the importance of defining my niche. In the sea of coaches, it helps you distinguish yourself and attract the clients that are the best fit. This results in a win-win. I love working with Fortune 500 companies that already understand the power of coaching and high performers who are motivated to develop themselves—especially women. - Neena Newberry, Newberry Solutions
