Thankfully, the Celebrity Perv Apology Generator has you covered.
Example?
As the father of daughters, I am deeply ashamed (but not “sorry” because that means I’m guilty of something). At the time I believed that my sociopathic manipulation of the 22-year-old in my office was consensual, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will get the help I so desperately need because this isn’t actually my fault, I have a problem so I’m not responsible for my actions.
(I’ll take this over Matt Lauer’s “apology” 10 times out of 10; at least this one is honest.)
Here’s what I read the past two weeks:
Discrimination
- Afraid you may be a sexual harasser? Some helpful dos and don’ts — via Robin Shea’s Employment & Labor Insider
- Is an Employee’s #MeToo Social Media Post a Harassment Complaint? — via TLNT
- The Sexual Harassment Scandal: How it Should Impact Employers — via The Emplawyerologist
- Sexual Harassment Cases Often Rejected By Courts — via NPR’s Morning Edition
- Sexual Harassment Training … for 2017 — via HR Acuity
- Firing Because She’s TOO Cute? That Just May Be Illegal Too — via Dan Schwartz’s Connecticut Employment Law Blog
- “Too Butch”— Sex Stereotyping — via FisherBroyles
- LGBT bias costs one employer the maximum amount allowed by law — via Eric Meyer’s Employer Handbook Blog
Tech
- Uber covered up a hack that compromised 57 million accounts — via TiPb
- More Training Won’t Reduce Your Cyber Risk — via Harvard Business Review
- Cyber Forensics: The Next Frontier in Cybersecurity — via Dark Reading
- Employers can prevent cyber breaches with simpler employee rules and IT support — via HR Dive
HR & Employee Relations
- Is It Time For People To Breach Their NDAs And Speak Truth To Power? — via Above the Law
- Against Secret Settlements — via ADR Prof Blog
- How Should You Respond to a Racist or Sexist Customer? — via Evil HR Lady, Suzanne Lucas
- Personal crises and work life — via Minding the Workplace
- Infographic: Bedrock principles of crisis communication — via Ragan.com
- Getting Parents Back to Work With Flexibility — via 1 Million for Work Flexibility
- A Win-Win Situation! The Advantages Of Passing The Workflex In The 21st Century Act — via The L•E•Jer
Wage & Hour
- Former law firm secretary awarded more than $277K in her overtime suit — via ABA Journal Daily News
- Are Santa’s Elves Employees or Independent Contractors? — via Who Is My Employee?
- Retaining Gig Workers During the Holidays — via Gig Employer Blog
- Staffing Firms Benefit from Sixth Circuit Administrative Exemption Ruling — via Wage and Hour Law Update
- Ninth Circuit Concurs that Workweek, Not Individual Hour, is Relevant Timeframe for Determination of Minimum Wage Compliance — via Wage and Hour Law Update
- How Do Employers Calculate FMLA Leave Around the Holidays? — via Jeff Nowak’s FMLA Insights
- What is a FMLA Serious Health Condition? — via ERC Insights Blog
Labor
- Want to stop sexual abuse in the workplace? Unionize. — via The Week
- DOL Head Slams NLRB’s Vague Test for Joint Employment — via Labor Relations
- Vox Media Employees Announce Organizing Effort — via CUE, Inc.
- Unions Struggling to Negotiate Wage Increases on Par With 2016 — via Labor Relations
OSHA & Safety
- OSHA’s Top 10 most-cited violations for fiscal year 2017 — via Safety + Health
- OSHA Intends to “Reconsider, Revise, or Remove Portions” of Injury and Illness E-Reporting Rule Next Year — via Workplace Safety and Environmental Law Alert Blog
- OSHA Delays Electronic Filing By Two Weeks — via OSHA Law Blog
- OSHA Gives Company Go-Ahead to Test More Equipment and Materials for Safety Standards — via Joe’s HR and Benefits Blog
- Senate Hearing Scheduled on Trump Nomination for OSHA Administrator — via Workplace Safety and Environmental Law Alert Blog
- Workplace Violence Prevention – Myths, Confusion & Misunderstandings — via TalentCulture