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In reply to Michigander. I don’t think she needs tell the candidate anything. If it’s the normal, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” question, every interviewee is going to say, “I’d like to become a manager by that time.” “I’d like to have your job by that time.” “I’d like to be working on glamorous project that the experienced people work on.” The interviewee is interviewing for the job they’d be great at,
“For a lot of people it’s their first job out of college, it’s very demanding work, and there’s a lot of burnout.” This sounds like the kind of high-pressure work environment where people do not want to be seen as weak or vulnerable or struggling. If that is the case, then please do not say anything. I would instead leave a post-it or something on the mirror with a supportive, anonymous message like “you matter here” or “we all have days like this” for them to
In reply to Fridays. It matters because YOU matter, Lizy. Abusers put a lot of effort into hiding and downplaying and dismissing the impact of their behaviour, and the person who abused you was well camouflaged in your family. I am sorry your family failed to be protective of you, and of everyone else this abuser will have affected. Getting involved with a support group now will help to reassure you that you were never responsible for what happened, in any way, and will also help you to feel emo
I bought a ScanSnap Scanner for work. It’s been an absolute game changer. Gone are the days that I need to use my camera to take a photo for expense reports or medical receipts. It has made my life better!
In reply to Elizabeth West. A little late to the thread, but I hope you see this. My knee replacement was about 15 years ago and I’m still hiking and even backpacked. Don’t assume that skating and other physical activities you did in the past are out of the question. I’m sure you’ll get this. Like you, I live alone with two sets of stairs to my apartment, and I did fine.
In reply to user3135. I’d say don’t wait. Quit now. If you have enough savings for two years, let this job go. Please keep in mind that recovering will take a long time so moving into a new work environment won’t necessarily fix the issues you have from this job. Get a head start.
In reply to Elizabeth West. I was the main caregiver for someone who got their knee replaced recently. Yes, there are knee replacements that do not require cutting the muscle. I believe it’s colloquially called a “jiffy knee.” Be forewarned (not sure if this is unique to the jiffy knee or universal), your LITERAL ENTIRE LEG, from within an inch or two of your crotch to almost the ankle, will be purple!
In reply to Antigone. As someone who worked for last 45 years, and an acknowledged introvert never interested in socializing with coworkers, I think the two biggest changes for me is my age and the Pandemic. Age gave me confidence to refuse without guilt or fear unnecessary socializing. The Pandemic simply restricted unnecessary socializing or limited it greatly.
Work question/rant TL;DR: Was getting laid off really that bad? What were the signs you were going to get laid off? I work at a big, private university and there haven’t been any lay-offs yet, but I feel they’re coming. My manager hasn’t said anything direct but he has mentioned that I should “prepare myself.” Should I ask him what he means by that exactly?
In reply to Nancy Gibbons. It’s happened to me twice. The first time there was no warning — well, there was but it was like, two minutes. My coworker got laid off, and then my phone rang. >_< I was lucky that step-down tiers for unemployment were in effect — I was on it for a year, and I got a job the week the last tier ran out.
In reply to Nancy Gibbons. >Also, was getting laid off really that bad? Yes. No signs – all hands meeting, saying that 30% layoffs. I was the first one called into “the room” So, if you count the rest of the all-hands meeting, there was 20 minutes of warning. I seriously thought I would be safe, but I wasn’t. (My manager, who managed 50 people, didn’t like me because I kept telling them that what they wanted to do was impossible.
In reply to Chauncy Gardener. I have been listening to Dana K White and the thing of hers that might help the most for clearing your counters is the 5 minute pickup. Whenever you think of it, set a timer and take 5 minutes to pick up things, they either go in : 1. Trash. 2. donatable donate box 3. where you would look for it 1st (that is not the place you want to clear).
In reply to too little caffeine. Have you talked to a lawyer? Plenty of decent lawyers will offer the initial consultation for free so they can determine if you have a case and lay out what your options are. It also helps with figuring out what types of facts are most impactful for your complaint and whether those items have witnesses or a paper trail.
In reply to Nancy Gibbons. I’ve been laid off three times! It’s been a bit of a shock each time, though I suppose in retrospect the signs were there. Big economic downturns, profits or stocks going down, new leadership at the top or new owners can all be signs layoffs are coming. Best thing you can do is a) keep your resume up to date b) make sure you have savings/a financial plan (generally there will be severance and you’ll be eligible for unemployment, but even so).
An example of how a fix post-interview didn’t work out: I once interviewed for a technical position. The hiring manager was not a native English speaker (very far from that, but very proud of his English). He asked: “Do you know about ABC?” and so horribly mispronounced the term I didn’t recognize it. I asked and he repeated it even even worse, so I had to pass on the question, looking like an idiot.
The stuff I find essential and valuable… – Mechanical pencils. Perfect for what I do as I can erase something much quicker than crossing it out. I also have Pilot G2 pens, but I don’t use them as often as the pencils. – A “focus notes” notebook – the kind of notebook with a wide blank margin, a ruled area, and notes on the bottom.
In reply to BookshelfElf. And in some (like Germany), you must take social factors into account in larger-scale dismissals (but not in hiring where you may not discriminate on a number of protected factors, like pregnancy).
My “Do it for her” wall ala the Simpsons. I have pictures of my kids and nephews along with cute art works and postcards from friends stuck to the wall next to my desk.
In reply to Packaged Frozen Lemon Zest. I have a 34 in 4K monitor at home. It’s big enough for three Word docs side by side at 100% zoom, or 4 PowerPoint slides. Makes my life a lot easier when I can see Outlook, Teams, my browser and the app I do most of my work in at a glance. Outlook usually shows the calendar.
In reply to NO Witty User Name. I use a black and white composition book for yearly, monthly and weekly goals and a daybook to make sure I get them done. Pen and paper help me a *lot*.
In reply to EngineeringLife. Software devs call talking to an inanimate object the rubber duck method. Sometimes just organising your thoughts enough to explain the problem out loud makes the solution obvious.
During the pandemic when home office equipment was at a premium I borrowed a pair of Jabra headphones from my partner that he got from a previous job. They were the best freaking headphones ever!! I facilitate meetings that moved to all virtual during the pandemic and they had a mike that you pulled up and down to mute which was soooooo easy and looked cool too.
—Wireless mouse to replace the wired ones provided by work. Much more convenient, and now I can’t live without the additional thumb buttons to toggle going forward/backward. —A tabletop whiteboard (folding/A-frame) for keeping track of my to-do list. Takes up some space, but has worked for me WAY better than sticky notes (physical or digital).
In reply to Cmdrshprd. Yes, I’ve seen someone clean it! I expect there is probably a way to fake the data, but I’d be surprised if anyone got away with it at this particular org. They tend to be meticulous about health and safety, at least partly because of the nature of the work (care provision). I’ve had to do health and safety training for situations that are highly unlikely ever to occur in my (backroom) role.
I almost wonder if your retraction and thoughtful post-interview analysis might not have worked out better for you than getting it completely right in the moment. The correction e-mail shows thoroughness and humility, two qualities that are often too rare but make for a great employee!
A footrest/fan/heater combination under my desk. My son gave me some kind of underdesk wooden roller foot massager for my poor sore feet (when I’m not using the combo mentioned above.) A flat topped mug warmer to keep my large soup mug warm (I’m a slow eater.) I took the arms off of my chair so I can sit cross legged and added a soft furry pillow for back support.
1. A mini, silent fan. It gets pretty hot by mid day in my office but even when its cool, having that extra air movement helps me stay alert. 2. A small spray bottle full of water. I spray this on my face every 20-30 minutes when it gets warmer and it helps keep me pretty cool.
In reply to Alan. AND, it shows that LW owns up to mistakes and corrects them promptly. A real life “Describe a mistake you made and how you handled it” question in action!
In reply to Anon for This. I am in the same union as LW2 and can confirm the union did send out an email update advising the issue had been resolved, as well as several updates before it was resolved. Happily, my manager also advised us of it promptly, but I’m not shocked that wasn’t the case for everyone. Union members, take this as a reminder to make sure you’re getting your union’s communications and spreading the word to your colleagues!
In reply to Speaking for spouse. My partner too. They were dealing with what turned out to be an abusive parental relationship and the EAP person coached them through getting out. They are now much happier and healthier and we both give the EAP a lot of credit for that.
In reply to Guacamole Bob. I don’t know. I’ve spent most of my career in nonprofits, and I do feel like it’s tougher to get people together to do social stuff post-pandemic that they would have been up for in the past. It’s not a bad thing, if it means people are holding firmer work/life boundaries for themselves, but it is a shift.
#4 – I’d say yes its a real trend and the cause is a mix of reasons. Computer efficiencies eliminating the need to interact in person with others. Larger corporations needing to transition to transactional interactions to operate more efficiently. People tend to change jobs more frequently now. Just in the last years, we’ve seen some organizations push to working remotely some or all of the week.
In reply to Lab Snep. This! Please tell your HR. I would really want to know this info since I work very hard to get the best benefits I possibly can for my company. The EAP is a super important benefit and all the vendors say theirs is so great, but nothing speaks like experience. Please speak up!
In reply to Insert Pun Here. Please tell your HR, not just your EAP. The feedback went to your EAP, not your employer. And I would want to know this as the purchaser of these services for my company.
In reply to Tea Monk. Very true, especially when the training is assigned to somebody who isn’t invested in doing a good job / doesn’t feel they know enough about the job to successfully train somebody else (thinking of examples from a previous workplace). I enjoy training others, but I feel our recent newbies have particularly made me reflect on how I can support them better.
In reply to BookshelfElf. Yeah, and those laws were created largely because of inequities that targeted marginalized people, like mothers and cancer patients. Also, I just read in the (Canadian) news this morning about a new report showing that new mothers are laid off at a rate 3x higher than the general population. So I think there’s a good element of fantasy in what the letter-writer wrote; I don’t know that there ever was a time when new mothers were retained in favour of other w
In reply to Radioactive Cyborg Llama. Yes, we are all individuals. At the same time those individuals can vastly under- or overestimate how much a dinner on work topics with colleagues who personally don’t have much common still helps with social needs (and exhausts others). I wanted to point out that it’s very unlikely that ‘work dinners don’t count’ is the case overall, even if there is a whole other dimension to meeting people with whom we have more in common.
To the letter writer with the time off requests pre strike: in most countries it’s considered retaliation and grounds for some sort of legal filing from your union for an employee to be denied time off explicitly because there is a potential strike (though your supervisor can deny your request for other reasons) please reach out to your union rep asap because this is something they should be aware of!
In reply to HuggyHedgehog. We work with very restricted funding, so this is me trying to keep this dude within the bounds of a lot of complicated rules. If he actually had the experience he listed on his resume, he should not need someone constantly telling him that the things he’s announced he wants to do cannot be done. I’m convinced he lied about his experience because anyone who’s done this job for a couple of years should know the basic rules.
As someone who currently works for my provincial government and used to work for the same province as the second letter writer I would advise the letter writer to speak to their union. Trying to address it with the manager is the wrong course of action. There is nothing to be accomplished by talking to the manager, and doing that will just make things worse.
In reply to NoIWontFixYourComputer. Mostly because they haven’t discovered the “joy” of soap and shampoo in the shower yet… if they even hit the showers.
Re:#1…I’m a nurse and spent a strong % of my career in hospitals. I never ever got used to the bullying, negative environment that treated me like a serf. The problems were never patient related, more management and administrative abuses. I was eventually able to take my experience and my degrees to land nursing careers outside of the hospital. I am not alone.
In reply to NoIWontFixYourComputer. hooboy. walked too close to a dugout at a high school baseball game yesterday during the second game of a doubleheader. the only thing that could help that situation is time and a strong wind.
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